And so it begins
by Ms Sticha
Summary: Commander Shepard, spacer, war hero, and all around diplomat (whether she likes it or not) gets assigned to a new prototype Alliance vessel. A lead up to ME1, possibly continuing through the games.
1. Chapter 1

**Apparently I just couldn't stay away. I'm not sure how far I am going with this, so let me know what you think. **

A beep on her Omni-tool alerted Commander Shepard of an incoming message. Across the CIC the captain of the SSV London received an alert at the same time, so she knew what the message was before she even opened it: her new orders. The captain opened the message first; his jaw clenched tightly when he read the contents. That only piqued her interest more. She opened the message on her 'tool at her post in the CIC, the orange light illuminating her features. Shepard kept her face as neutral as possible as she read her assignment dossier, conscious of the fact that the captain was now watching her.

She was to report to Earth immediately to join the crew on the newest prototype frigate for a shakedown run under Captain Anderson. She was thrilled to be working with her mentor again, but also suspicious. While she normally would welcome the bit of downtime a shakedown would afford she was not naive: the Alliance would not assign two N7s on a simple run. She tried to shake away the gnawing suspicion in her gut and focused. The Normandy was docked on Earth for 24 hours. She checked their current location on the map: the SSV London was only 2 hours away from Earth. _Plenty of time to sneak in a dinner with mom before reporting for duty _she thought happily. It had been over a year since they had been able to meet up in person. _Too long to be acceptable_ she reminded herself.

Shepard looked up to excuse herself long enough to send a quick message her mother's way, but the captain was nowhere in sight. _That's odd, he usually never leaves his post_ she thought, but quickly pushed it away. She went back to her duties without a second thought. As with any alliance member worth their salt, her stuff was ready to go at a moment's notice and a message to her mother could wait until after they landed.

Captain Downing returned to his post minutes later, but something seemed off about his demeanor. Shepard couldn't quite put her finger on it. Less than ten minutes later an urgent call came in from Rear Admiral Mikhailovich: they were to proceed directly to the Maroon Sea cluster to protect Chasca, a small planet in the process of being colonized. Intel suggested a large pirate syndicate preparing an attack. Such an attack would undo over a year's worth of groundwork in the colonization effort. Based on his lack of reaction, the captain knew this call was coming.

Something about the timing and details of the mission set alarms off in Shepard's head. There were dozens of other Alliance vessels equally equipped and significantly closer to the destination. The Maroon Sea cluster was three jumps from Earth; this detour would make it impossible for her to make her next assignment. The fact that the captain ordered her not to alert Captain Anderson of the detour only solidified her concern.

Shepard kept herself busy while in transit to Chasca, but her eyes kept drifting to the clock on her Omni-tool. She tried to ignore the drop of her stomach at the moment the Normandy departed Earth. She was disappointed she wasn't going to be able to work with Anderson again; she missed having a friendly face around. Younger soldiers were scared of her and the older ones resented the speed she climbed the ranks. There was more to her distress, though: It was the first time she missed a deployment in her career.

It took over a day to reach their destination and another six hours planet-side before they found any hostiles at all. The hostiles turned out to be nothing more than a small band of human mercs looking for an easy score with the underprepared pioneer teams. Shepard's suspicions about the urgent detour proved accurate: they found no signs of a major offense on Chasca or anywhere else in the Matano System, for that matter. The whole situation smacked of political maneuverings.

* * *

It was several days before the SSV London docked at Arcturus Station. The crew was given 24 hour leave while Captain Downing was in meetings with Rear Admiral Mikhailovich and a committee of some sort. Shepard tried to make the best of the situation by spending some time with her father, but she was informed he was in meetings all day. She has suspected that would be the case, but she had to try. She couldn't help being disappointed, though. Shepard chose to spend that time outside the committee room instead, since she had a sneaking suspicion it involved her. She was just glad it wasn't her ass on the line this time.

Shepard leaned against a wall in the sterile waiting room while a committee was busy playing politics in the next room. None of this was new to her; she had been playing diplomat almost as long as she had been a soldier. It became a real problem when the political side directly interfered with her actual job, as was the case now. There were too many coincidences for it to be otherwise. She was usually not in the waiting room, though. This new twist left her feeling surprisingly impotent.

Shepard started banging her head back against the wall rhythmically. She didn't care who stared at this point. Most of the soldiers in the room had already seen the N7 on her armor and had been avoiding eye contact anyway. She could feel their eyes on her when she wasn't looking, but they turned away hastily as soon as she looked back. Chicken-shits.

Shepard heard the doors to the committee room swish open and her eyes popped open. She had hoped it signaled the end of the meeting, but she only saw a man in dress blues hastily recede into the depths of the room. _Great, it is going to take even longer now_ she thought with a bit of desperation.

She threw her head back into the wall with a dramatic sigh, the force much harder than she had anticipated. Her hand shot up into her choppy chin length red hair to rub the small bump already forming. A sudden hum filled her head. It was faint, but enough to put her on edge. _Sure, giving yourself a concussion is a good way to end such a stellar week_ she groused to herself.

Shepard walked over to an empty bank of chairs and plopped in the middle one. The ringing in her ears subsided when she sat, but it came back a minute later. She sat with her eyes closed, willing away the ringing without any success. The hum actually seemed to be getting louder again.

"Mind if I take this seat?" The smoky voice took her by surprise. She just assumed everyone would keep their distance from her like usual. She opened her eyes to find warm whiskey colored eyes staring back. She briefly looked around, noting the plethora of open seats before shrugging.

"If you really want to, I won't stop you." She knew how aloof she sounded. It bothered her for the first time in a long time, and _that_ confused her. He didn't appear too bothered by it, though; a warm smile spread across his face.

"You look really familiar. Have we met?"

"Nope." _That's it. Keep it short and sweet and hopefully he will move on_ she thought to herself.

"Are you sure? I feel like I know you from somewhere." Shepard just shook her head in response.

"Well, I am Lt. Kaidan Alenko. Nice to meet you." He held his hand out toward Shepard expectantly. She inwardly sighed and extended her own hand. A bright arc of electricity sparked between their hands a fraction of a second before they made contact, sending a painful jolt up her arm.

"I am so sorry!" they both exclaimed in unison. He held a hand up to stop her apology.

"No, really. It is my fault; I am a biotic. I should've been a bit more careful. I'm sorry I shocked you."

Shepard saw the earnest look in his eyes and couldn't help but laugh. Suddenly it all made sense: the hum wasn't a concussion; it was just her body reacting to his biotics. The man looked crestfallen at her sudden outburst and moved to stand. Her hand shot out to catch him before he could leave.

"Wait, don't go. I wasn't laughing at you." She saw the doubt clear on his handsome face, so she rushed to continue. "No, really! I was laughing because I should've known you were a biotic. I felt you walk into the room and mistook the signs as me being stupid and giving myself a concussion." The look of confusion on his face only made her break into another fit of laughter.

"You don't spend much time around other biotics, do you Alenko?" He looked at her carefully for another moment before it was clear he got it.

"Yeah, ah... I guess it has been awhile." He gave her a sheepish smile, clearly embarrassed. They sat in silence for several minutes after that before he suddenly looked up from his Omni-tool.

"Would you like to go to dinner?"

"I'm sorry, I don't date Alliance. It's nothing personal." This was a rule Shepard gave herself before she even enlisted. She had seen how hard it was for her parents to maintain a relationship when they had to spend so much time apart. It was easier to not let it be an issue to begin with.

He looked at her calmly for a moment, a mischievous grin dancing on the edges of his mouth. _Very kissable mouth_ she thought, immediately chastising herself as soon as she thought it. _God, I really need to get a personal life if I am this easily distracted_.

"That was mighty presumptuous of you Ms... ah, I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name."

"That's because I didn't give it." A wicked grin spread across her face despite herself.

"Very well, then." He nodded briefly before continuing. "I was merely stating that it is dinner time and I figured a fellow biotic would most likely be as starving as I am. I was just offering a little companionship over a meal."

"I guess I should eat something. And it doesn't look like anything will happen here for awhile." Her green eyes searched his face, looking for a possible ulterior motive, but he seemed to be genuine. "Alright, let's go already!"

* * *

Their meal was pleasant; the food was passable and the conversation was engaging. Shepard had not had company in a long time. It surprised her how much she missed it. Spending a large amount of time alone was one of the unfortunate side effects of being a big scary special ops war hero. Most people were too intimidated to even approach her. That was part of the reason she didn't properly introduce herself to the soldier across from her. She didn't feel too bad about it though; they would both be going their separate ways in no time.

The food was gone and the conversation wound down when her Omni-tool pinged. She apologized and excused herself to answer it. She was surprised when she saw the person on the other side of the call.

"Anderson?"

"Shepard. I was hoping I could get you directly. Good news: the Normandy is on Arcturus waiting for her commander." He looked like he was not in a great mood, but he was all smiles for her.

"Really? I thought you guys were long gone by now." She couldn't keep the shock out of her voice.

"I'll explain when I see you. We will depart from docking bay B12 at 1800. You better make it this time, soldier." He laughed slightly before the call ended.

Shepard made her way back to the table, but the lieutenant was not there. She was mildly surprised to discover she was disappointed she couldn't say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the follows and favorites! I had fun building up a bit of a history with a few characters in this. I hope you guys like it too! - let me know what you think! And a big thanks to Jules Hawk for the encouragement.**

Shepard stood next to the now-empty table and looked around the crowded cafeteria. She hated admitting how lonely she actually was. It was mostly her doing anyway; she kept everyone at arm's length. It was easier to not get hurt that way. She tried to not look creepy while she watched small groups laughing and talking all around her. A small beep from her Omni-tool made her jump and she laughed at how ridiculous she was being. She sat back down at the empty table and pulled up her message.

_Shepard, I received you message earlier today. Unfortunately, I was in meetings all day. As I am sure you are now aware, you are to report to the Normandy in dock B12. Go straight there. I am personally overseeing the transfer of your personal possessions. They will be waiting for you. -Hackett_

She immediately sent a response.

_Hackett, Can I expect to see you at the docks? I was hoping for a moment for a quick debrief. -Shepard_

Shepard looked up from her 'tool while she waited for a response. Her eyes scanned the crowd once more. The cafeteria was a hotbed of activity, and it was almost impossible to pick one person out of the crowd. She didn't want to admit there was a certain whiskey-eyed man she was hoping to catch a last glimpse of, and she tried to choke back the disappointment as she gave up. A small movement by the door caught her eye as she skimmed the crowd once more. A familiar dark head was just visible behind an officer in dress blues. The officer's back was to Shepard, but the man was facing her. A little thrill shot through her body at the sight of him. _Stop acting like a teenage girl. He's Alliance, and that makes him off limits_ she scolded herself. She saw Lieutenant Alenko standing at perfect attention. The officer must've been addressing him. A moment later he saluted the officer, and then turned to follow him out of the room. She was disappointed to see him leaving and turned her attention back to her 'tool which had just alerted her to another message. She didn't see the handsome man stop and look back over to her with a smile before leaving.

_I will not be able to see the Normandy off. I have important business to attend to. I was hoping to grab a quick bite with you, but I see you already ate. At least you had company this time. Oh, and I like the new haircut. -Hackett_

Shepard's head snapped up to the place Alenko and the officer had been standing. Her eyes narrowed, suddenly realizing who that officer had been. She grinned despite herself as she rose and made her way to the docking bay.

"Commander Shepard seeking permission to board." She stood at parade rest outside the airlock door.

_"Permission conditionally granted. You have to do it first."_

"Pardon?" Shepard had already taken half a step toward the door expecting it to open. She barely managed to pull back before walking face-first into the door.

_"You heard me Shepard. Do it."_

"Joker, is that you?" She froze and her eyes shot up to the camera, waiting for a response. She eventually sighed and stepped back.

"I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation..."

_"That's not how it goes and you know it. Do it right. And don't forget the dance moves. It only counts if you dance too."_

"I can still kick your ass Joker. You better not forget that."

_"Yeah, you and everyone else on this base. Beating up the cripple isn't really something to go bragging about. Now quit stalling. You know, the longer you wait the larger the crowd gets. Just sayin'."_

Shepard froze at the mention of crowds and slowly turned around. Several dockworkers and a handful of soldier had gathered, and based on the number of people using their comms, it was only a matter of time before more arrived. She was mortified to see a few people holding up their 'tools, ready to record.

"Move along people. Nothing to see here. And so help me, if I even hear a _rumor_ about a vid of this, I will comb the security footage and hunt every single one of you down." She then spun back around to face the Normandy. "I am going to kill you Joker."

_"Yeah? Well, you've got to get in here first."_

She sighed, dropped her head into her hand and muttered "fine". She stepped back to be completely in view of the camera and started singing at the top of her lungs.

"I wish I had metal legs / Like Joker, he's no fool / I have to be part metal / To be really cool."

She sang purposefully off-key to draw attention from her total lack of dance abilities. Her body did little more than wobble back and forth, but that was the best she could do. She took a deep breath and belted out the second verse.

"Oh I wish I was like Joker / And not a total bore / He's cute and fun and witty / And a god on the dance floor."

The door hissed open in front of her and she rushed in, doing her best to ignore the laughter behind her. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest during the decontamination process, one toe tapping a dangerous staccato.

"Was it worth it, Joker? 'Cause I am going to kill you after that."

"Totally." His voice was choked, like he was having trouble catching his breath.

She stood still, muscles coiled and ready to pounce as soon as the door opened. The decontamination cycle was almost over, so she readied herself. She was going to make him pay for that little stunt. _Prank wars are so back on_ she thought with an evil grin.

As the airlock slid open she froze briefly before snapping to attention: Anderson was standing right inside the door.

"Glad you finally made it, Shepard." He gave her his best stern glare, but the quivering corners of his mouth betrayed him. He glanced up at Joker and then back to Shepard, shaking his head. "Sometimes I think Hackett has it out for me. Good thing you are both good at your jobs."

"Um, I think you mean the best, sir." Joker yelled over his shoulder.

"C'mon Shepard, I will give you a quick tour before takeoff. Joker, let me know when everyone reports back in." They were back to business as quick as that.

They strode side-by-side through the CIC, nodding to the few soldiers who looked up as they past. Normally there would be a formal introduction line before they departed, but this group had been together several days by now; Shepard was the only new addition. She mentally reminded herself to come back for proper introductions as soon as she could. Anderson slowed as they neared the rear of the CIC to introduce her to the navigator.

"Shepard, this is Navigator Pressly. Pressly, this is Commander Shepard." They both nodded to one another and shook hands.

"Glad to finally meet you in person, Commander. I was on the SSV Agincourt during the Blitz. Your actions made for quite a debrief..."

"Wow, Commander Shepard?" Shepard looked away from Pressly in time to see a very young man walk directly into a support beam between the galaxy map and the walkway. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. She had a feeling that would devastate the soldier.

"Jenkins, watch where you are going! We can't have you destroying this ship before we even complete the shakedown." The kid's face paled as he hastily saluted before disappearing below deck. Anderson and Shepard both nodded at Pressly and moved on.

"That damn kid needs to pay more attention before he gets himself or someone else killed. I need you to crack down on his ass, Shepard."

"Yes, sir."

They made their way down the stairs and boarded an elevator for the cargo hold. They stood in silence for several seconds before Anderson looked over at her.

"You think they would've thrown a bit more tech on a prototype ship to speed the lift a bit, wouldn't you?" He smiled and shook his head. It was meant as an off-handed remark, but Shepard took it as an opening to broach the subject that was concerning her.

"Sir, why are we fully staffed for a shakedown, especially on such an expensive prototype? There is no reason it should have more than bare-bones staff for a simple run."

"Sorry, Shepard. This comes from the top: it is on a need-to-know basis. Just be thankful you don't need to know." Anderson's face gave nothing away. The fact that he suddenly became so guarded said more than he probably intended.

"Understood, sir. Can you at least tell me why you came out of your way to get me? Surely this run would've been just fine with you and the crew."

The lift doors slid open and Anderson moved to step forward without answering. A turian was standing on right outside the elevator. Shepard did her best to hide her surprise, lowering her head slightly in a show of respect. The turian's mandibles moved slightly, an odd look on his face. Shepard really wished she knew more about turian facial expressions so she could determine his reaction.

"Shepard, this is Nihlus Kryik. He is a Specter sent by the Council to oversee our run. The Normandy is a joint venture between the Alliance and Council." Anderson completely ignored her last question, and this new revelation only raised more for her.

"Captain, all crew are present and accounted for." Joker's voice reverberated through the stark cargo deck.

"Thank you Joker. I am making my way back up there now." Anderson then turned back to the two in front of him. "Nihlus, can you please show Commander Shepard around down here and then lead her to the med bay?"

Nihlus and Shepard both nodded to Anderson as he stepped back on the lift, then both stood looking at one another once he was gone. Shepard felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny, but she refused to show it. She decided to confront him instead.

"So, are you going to tell me the real reason you are here?" His eyes narrowed on her before he turned away, leading her to engineering.

"I believe Captain Anderson told you of the Council's participation in this venture." He wouldn't look at her and did not offer any other information. In fact, he kept to the shadows for the remainder of the tour. He merely directed her to the next destination and watched her interact with the crew, before leaving her at the doors to the med bay.

Shepard sighed inwardly before entering the med bay. It was standard procedure to be checked out at each deployment. She always found ship doctors to be cold and distant. _Probably a defense mechanism for all the soldiers they see come and go_, she thought. _Not that I would know anything about that_. As a result, Shepard stood outside the closed door looking for any excuse not to enter. Suddenly she didn't have a way out, as the door slid open and a slender grey-haired woman almost ran directly into her.

"Oh, my. Many apologies." She stepped back, a small smile on her thin lips. "Well, you must be Commander Shepard. I'm Doctor Chakwas. Come in, let me have a look at you."

Shepard stepped in to the low-lit room and looked around. The older woman continued to talk while she gathered up some data pads and tools.

"I dare say I would know who you are even without being told to expect you. You are a spitting image of your mother. Have you ever been told that before? Yes, I guess you would have."

"You know my mother?"

"Oh heavens, yes. In fact, I know you too. You were too little to remember me, though. I was your mother's doctor when she was pregnant with you." Her eyes wrinkled as she smiled, momentarily lost in her memory. She waved her hand absently as she came back to the moment. "We kept in touch since then. I guess we formed a bond that was hard to break, both there for one another in a moment of weakness. Anyway... enough about me. Let's see how our new XO is doing."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm sorry it has taken so long to update. I am still not sure I am happy with this, but I need to just put it up and move on. Let me know what you think.

* * *

Shepard took the steps two-at-a-time up to the CIC, determined to track down Anderson and get some answers. The Normandy was small enough that he couldn't hide for long. If history taught her anything, it was that she could be rather persuasive when she set her mind to it. Her mind was definitely set on this. A full-staffed shake-down run with two N7s and a Spectre was unheard of. The fact that they went out of their way to come get her and a lot of political b.s. went down behind closed doors in the process only solidified her gut feeling that something big was going down. Shepard hated being kept in the dark, especially when it directly concerned her.

The door to the CIC slid open quietly and the soldier stationed there saluted stiffly. Shepard made eye contact and gave one sharp nod before walking by, intent on finding Anderson. She only made it a few steps before she was stopped.

"Commander, mind if we have a word?"

Pressly was eager to continue their conversation from earlier. Shepard glanced up to the cockpit and saw the Alliance blues indicating Anderson was exactly where she had expected. She wanted answers as soon as possible, but she also knew the importance of starting off on the right foot with the crew. Besides, Anderson wouldn't be able to get by her unnoticed.

"Sure, I have a few minutes. What's on your mind?"

"It's about the mission, ma'am. It just doesn't add up. Why are we fully staffed, with two N7s on such a simple run? And then..." Shepard held up one hand to stop him, mid-sentence.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Pressly, but I can honestly tell you I know nothing more than you do. Probably less, as you have several days head start on me. I agree that it is unusual, but we just have to trust that Captain Anderson and the Alliance top brass know what they are doing."

"But they let a turian on board, a Spectre who doesn't answer to the Alliance."

Her eyes narrowed slightly on the navigator as she considered the unvoiced implications of the way he spoke of their turian guest. She had also overheard part of a conversation between him and another crew member that implied a deep distrust of turians. She decided to be upfront about it.

"You don't trust Nihlus, do you?"

"I don't trust turians in general, it runs in my family. I lost a lot of friends and family in the First Contact Wars."

"I understand, but you can't let that affect the way you treat every member of a species. Nihlus is here as a representative of the Council and we need to welcome him as such. We can't let actions of the past taint our current relationships."

Shepard was suddenly aware of the icy reputation she had earned over the years and decided to fight it; she smiled to lessen the preachy tone. _God, I sound like my mother_ she winced. She heard someone uncoordinated clomping towards them and suddenly felt the need to flee. She gave a brief nod towards Pressly before she walked away, but he didn't recognize it as the dismissal she intended.

"Understood, ma'am. That won't be a problem." He paused just a moment before starting a new topic. "So, as I said before, I was on the SSV Agincourt during the Blitz. We were one of the first on the scene, and I have to tell you, we were all amazed at what you accomplished."

The clomping stopped directly behind them and an eager, yet shaky voice spoke up.

"Oh yeah, Commander, you are famous! They said you single-handedly fought off the entire ground force until back-up could arrive." Jenkins stared at Shepard, blue eyes wide and glossy with admiration. He leaned against a console; clearly trying to look relaxed, but only succeeded in setting off an alarm before his arm slipped clumsily. Pressly made an exasperated noise as he shut the alarm off.

"Yes, that is what they say, isn't it Shepard?" The voice caught Shepard off-guard. Nihlus looked down on her through narrow eyes. _Damn, he is quiet. I wonder how long he was there _she thought, slightly worried. Something in his tone concerned her. She was afraid he had heard her discussion with Pressly, but his eyes were only on her; he showed no indication that was the case. She looked silently from the navigator, to the awe-struck young soldier, back to the Spectre.

She was tired of being treated like a hero by young soldiers who didn't know any better. She was tired of the accusations of her being nothing more than hype by many older soldiers. She was also tired of the blatant bigotry the Alliance's silence allowed to remain. _The statute of limitations has to be up on what happened on the Elysium by now. And if not, what can they do?_ She made up her mind to do something about it.

"Just because they say that doesn't mean it is what happened." She activated her Omni-tool and scrolled through it, ignoring the looks of surprise on the collected men's faces. Even the alien's mandibles fluttered in astonishment. She found what she was looking for and held it up for all three of them to see.

"It's a picture, Commander." Apparently Jenkins had no filter and said anything that popped into his head.

"Yes, it is. This is one of the only pictures in existence of the resistance team that held off the ground force during the Blitz. As you can see, it isn't just a big picture of me being a super-hero. And you will also note the presence of several alien species, as well." She let her pointed gaze linger on the two Alliance soldiers in front of her.

"Hey Nihlus, that guy looks kinda like you!" Jenkins was pointing to a turian in the photo. _The one who took several rounds and hopped right back up to cover me_ she thought with awe. She looked closely at the image before looking at the Spectre next to her. He met her gaze and held it. It was clearly not Nihlus, but there was a resemblance.

Her memory took over, replaying the event in her mind. _Several shots rang out, there was a sharp yell to her side and the turian dropped to the ground. She pulled her attention away from the battle to see to him, only to witness him jump back up, blue blood spattered along one side of his armor. He aimed quickly and pulled the trigger twice, dropping two batarians in rapid succession despite one arm hanging lifelessly. "Cover me!" she yelled to the turian as she launched over the barricade to hold the enemy from the breach they created with a lucky grenade toss. _She shook her head to pull herself back to reality and tucked her choppy hair behind one ear self-consciously. She was surprised at how real the memories could be, even after all the years.

"Yes, that he does." Nihlus turned and walked away abruptly. Shepard was caught off-guard at the sudden departure of the Spectre.

"Huh. I wonder if this means Nihlus didn't hold off a platoon single-handed too." Jenkins watched the turian walk away before turning back to the image. "This is definitely not what they taught us in school."

"You studied me in school?" Shepard wasn't sure how she felt about this little tidbit.

"Yeah, but they didn't get too into it. They were afraid of scaring us since we were so young."

"Wow. I feel ancient now." Shepard shook her head as Pressly laughed and Jenkins looked terrified that he had offended her. She took this as her cue to leave, but decided to give a parting shot to the navigator.

"Hey Jenkins, Pressly was on the first ship to arrive at Elysium. You should ask him all about it. He has plenty of time." She smirked at Pressly as she walked by.

She kept her eyes forward as she strode confidently towards the cockpit, determined to get a straight answer from Anderson. Heads along the path turned to watch her approach, the gaze of the crew burned into her back as she passed. She didn't know if it was because word got out about who she really was, if they had overheard the discussion about the Blitz, or just because she looked like she was about to take down a platoon. She felt awkward to still be fully armored, but she hadn't had time to change yet. Besides, that part of the tour had been skipped; nobody told her where her stuff was, yet. It didn't really matter, though.

She was disappointed to see Anderson was no longer in the cockpit, but she decided to check in with Joker while she had a chance. They were just hitting the relay as she walked up behind Nihlus, who was standing in the doorway behind the pilot's chair. She was glad she made up in time to watch them make the jump; it was always her favorite part of space travel. The momentary weightlessness, the tickle in the pit of her stomach, and the bright blue light washing over her was an experience unlike any other, and she relished it.

As usual, Joker was all business when he hit the relay. He loved his job and did it better than anyone else Shepard knew. He just wasn't good at being a professional when he wasn't completely absorbed with a work-related task. Unfortunately for most of the people who couldn't handle him, Joker was too good a pilot to be completely absorbed most of the time.

Nihlus nodded in approval as Joker reported the status. "You did a good job. Your captain will be glad." Shepard smiled to herself to see the turian publicly acknowledge Joker's ability. It was very rare; they expected greatness and would only compliment if someone went above those high expectations.

She took a quiet step closer to the cockpit, finally drawing the Spectre's attention. He turned away from her without a word and walked back towards the galaxy map, avoiding eye contact. There was clearly something going on, but she couldn't figure it out. The fact that the Spectre was suddenly avoiding her only made her more confused.

Shepard was about to walk fully into the cockpit when she froze. Joker was badmouthing Nihlus, which didn't surprise her at all, but there was a second person up there with him putting Joker back in place quite easily. She recognized that voice.

She peeked around the corner of the cockpit to see if her ears were deceiving her; they weren't. Her heart jumped and she felt her hands shake gently as her eyes fell on the handsome man who insisted on keeping her company, the one that made her need to remind herself of her own rules of dating . She had just assumed the gentle hum in her head was from the relay. Now she knew why it didn't go away after they jump. She could see him tense his jaw slightly, an indication he felt the effects of her biotics too. She had to control the situation, put her commander face on.

"Joker, Lieutenant Alenko, that was a good jump. I'm glad I didn't miss it." She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the smile off her lips at the way the two men jumped. They had no idea she had been standing there.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Shepard? Because that is not something you should do to the person responsible for keeping the ship from _not_ hitting anything. Just sayin'." He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Is this payback for earlier?"

"No. I don't know what you are talking about. Besides, you earned much more than a cheap scare and I can't wait to make you pay in full for that. "

"Can't wait" he mumbled.

"So, you know Alenko, then?" Joker jerked his head towards the man sitting co-pilot. Shepard glanced over to the man, she noted his eyes wide with shock and a blush crept up his neck.

"We met." She shrugged casually. The lieutenant blinked several times.

"Shepard? As in _the_ Commander Shepard, hero of the Blitz?"

"Yeah, clearly you two have met." Joker looked between the two skeptically.

"So that's why you wouldn't introduce yourself."

"I just wanted a real conversation, and I don't tend to get those much anymore. Besides, you asked me to join you for dinner without asking my name. Not my fault." She shrugged again.

"Wait, you two had dinner?" Joker's eyes danced between the two, clearly enjoying himself. "And you wouldn't introduce yourself? That is rich." He stared down Shepard, a sly grin on his face. "That is almost as bad as someone changing their appearance so a one night stand can't find them."

"Yeah, that would be bad. Almost as bad as someone turning in an OSD filled with hanar tentacle porn instead of a final project in high school." She kept her tone light and even, but Joker paled anyway. They stared one other down, oblivious of the other man in the room.

"There is hanar porn?" The question was sincere, and it made Shepard want to laugh. He sounded so shocked. It was hard to believe someone as old as he must be - he had to be around her age - was so naive. And it disturbed her how sexy he made it sound.

"I would assume so. If it exists, there is porn of it. That is a pretty standard rule." Joker was trying to play off the conversation and Shepard decided he had suffered enough. She was about to change the subject when Anderson came over the comm.

"Joker, can you track Shepard down and send her my way?"

"I'm here, Anderson. I'll be there momentarily." She nodded to the men and left. She was only a few steps away when she heard their conversation pick back up.

"How could you not know that was Shepard? Her picture has been everywhere for years." Joker was laughing at her hapless dinner companion.

"I don't know. I guess I was expecting a small blonde..." The voices trailed off as she got further away.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry about the long delay. The real world was rather harsh this past week, and everything I wrote was entirely too dark for the stories I am working on now. I plan to work them in later (since things will eventually get dark here, too). I hope this isn't too uneven. Let me know what you think.

* * *

Shepard made a beeline for the comm room, eager to get Anderson to fill her in. She noted with a small amount of pride that Jenkins still had Pressly cornered and was peppering him with questions, so she took the far side of the galaxy map to avoid being pulled back in. She consciously avoided eye contact with the navigator across the map but couldn't quite keep the smirk off her lips.

The doors to the comm room swished open revealing the large, circular room. She walked to the far end of the room and leaned over the metal railing. She half-heartedly searched for an area Anderson could tuck himself into, but she knew the dim room was completely empty. Her brows crinkled in confusion for half a beat before the door slid open behind her.

"I thought I would have to hunt you down. You haven't been avoiding me, have you?" Her voice light and slightly playful, she spoke before turning to face the captain. She jumped when she looked over her shoulder to find Nihlus standing in the doorway instead of Anderson. He looked more startled than she felt, completely frozen in place and eyes wide. Clearly her words applied to him as well.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were down in the captain's quarters for a meeting. I was expecting this room to be empty." Nihlus recovered quickly, a necessity of the job. Most people wouldn't recognize the mere seconds of panic, but Shepard wasn't most people.

"I will catch up with him soon. You didn't answer my question, though. Why are you avoiding me?" Her eyes narrowed on the turian in front of her. Shepard decided to jump on the opportunity that presented itself. Nihlus's presence on the ship wasn't as cut-and-dried as it was presented, and he had been acting odd since she told the real story of the Blitz. She was going to get to the bottom of at least one mystery before she left the room. She folded her arms across her armored chest and leaned against the railing, comfortable enough to hold that position as long as needed. She could be extremely patient when needed - or maybe it was just stubbornness, but the result was the same: she wasn't moving until Nihlus started talking.

"Commander, I must apologize. I assumed I was prepared for anything meeting you may entail. When I was confronted with the error of my beliefs, I had to step back and reexamine."

"Why would you have to prepare for meeting me?" Shepard didn't bother keeping the confusion from her voice. Nihlus chuckled openly.

"He was right. You really are a rather endearing human." Nihlus muttered while shaking his head. He took a deep breath and spoke directly to her.

"There isn't a soldier alive who hasn't heard of your success at Elysium - the story presented by the Alliance, at least: one young human female single-handedly holding off an entire army." He mirrored her stance; arms crossed across his chest, but kept his head down.

"There were whispers of a different account of the Blitz, one with a small army holding the position; and army made up of several alien species, including at least one turian. I investigated shortly after the event, but the Alliance is efficient. The entire scene was pristine by the time I arrived, less than a week later. I believed this was one mystery that would remain so, until today."

"You really lost me there."

Nihlus let out a jagged breath, visibly deflating in front of her. The image of an imposing figure was shattered in that instant. He dropped his head and started wordlessly fiddling with his omni-tool. Shepard held her position in silence, waiting. He approached her after several moments of quiet, arm extended.

"I think you should see this before I proceed." There was an image on the display of his 'tool: the same turian from her photo on Elysium.

"This is Ventus Kryik, my brother." His blue eyes finally met Shepard's green, and he held her gaze. She blinked several times, unable to fully comprehend what was just said.

"Wait, I don't understand." She searched the turian's face, unable to read his expression.

The hiss of the door broke the silence. Anderson slowly strode into the room, aware of the thick atmosphere. He stood tall, shoulders back and chest high so all his medals caught the low lights of the comm room as he looked from the turian to the young woman in front of him.

"Shepard, I assume Nihlus has told you what is going on. I was hoping to tell you myself, but was called away."

"I had not gotten that far, Captain Anderson. Please, proceed." Nihlus bowed his head slightly, deferring to the ship's senior officer.

"This mission is more than a simple shake-down. Nihlus wants to see you in action. He is here to evaluate you for the Council."

"I guess that explains why you came back for me. And why we are fully staffed. I still feel like there are a few things I'm being kept in the dark about, though."

"There is. I am here to evaluate you as a potential Spectre candidate. I put your name forward, and that is not done lightly. Your reputation is impressive and I can't wait to see you in action. I had an ulterior motive, though; one I had not shared with anyone." Nihlus pushed off the rail and turned to look Anderson in the eye. "I trust this will not leave this room." He waited for both humans to nod before continuing.

"I have spent a large part of my adult life searching for my brother. I had reason to suspect he was on Elysium during the Blitz, but I never had any proof. I hoped to slowly bring that up around the Commander, easing any information I could from her. She surprised me by giving me more proof than I had ever thought possible within an hour of meeting her."

"Why is finding your brother so important? Aside from the obvious, that is." Shepard tried not to wince as she realized how flippant she sounded.

"He was a member of Desolas Arterius's squad on Shanxi. He abandoned his squad and went into hiding shortly before Desolas's mysterious death - bringing dishonor on him and our family. I would not place such urgency on personal matters, but my instincts tell me this is important: they appear to be mixing with my professional work, now. I have received several anonymous messages warning me of a great threat at our doorstep - ones I am certain came from him. The last one originated from a research station in the Utopia system." He gave Anderson a meaningful look when he mentioned the station, but Shepard was the one who noticed it.

"Arterius? Any relation to Saren?" Anderson's grey eyes betrayed the feigned casualness he presented. Shepard noted the bite to his tone; subtle enough the turian missed it.

"Yes, that was his brother."

"So where does that leave us now?" Shepard was not one to beat around the bush.

"Now we proceed to our first mission. The station went offline shortly after the message was sent. That is our first stop."

"Go tell Joker to head to the Utopia system. I'll catch up with you momentarily." Anderson dismissed Shepard with those instructions.

She made her way back up to the cockpit, waving off random crew trying to stop her on the way. She slowed before stepping behind the pilot, unsure if she was trying to avoid interrupting a conversation or hoping to overhear one, but it was silent. Shepard tried to ignore her disappointment when she realized Joker was alone. She cleared her throat as she approached to avoid startling Joker.

"I was wondering when you would be back. I can't seem keep the ladies away. Or you. It's a curse, really." Joker put on his best wistful tone.

"Anderson wants you to... wait... did you just insinuate that I'm not a lady?" Shepard's eyes narrowed on the back of his head.

"Um, no comment. What did Anderson want?"

"Get us to the Utopia system. Apparently there is an Alliance research station somewhere around there - one where they do science stuff."

"Wow. Very precise. Good thing the universe is so small so I can find exactly what you are looking for." He turned to grin at her, and she fought the urge to smile. That would only encourage him. "Luckily for you, I happen to know where that is."

"My savior. What's the ETA?"

"About an hour. Plenty of time for me to give you shit about your dinner date."

"Tempting. I think I am going to have to take a rain check on that. I have to find where they stashed my stuff so I am ready when we reach the station. Maybe next time. And we can talk about your date with... oh, wait, never mind." Her eyes danced as he feigned being stabbed in the heart.

"Plus, I already told you, it wasn't a date." She realized how defensive she sounded as soon as she said them.

"Yeah, and I'm not buying it. Would you rather watch the vid I recorded of your wonderful performance earlier today?"

"You didn't!"

"I really don't remember if I did or not." Joker shrugged casually.

Heavy rhythmic footsteps approached them, and they both knew that cadence anywhere: Anderson. They abruptly stopped their discussion and waited for him to address them.

"Joker, are we en route?"

"Yes, sir. We will be there in less than an hour."

"Good. Shepard, go get ready and have Alenko and Jenkins meet us down by the shuttle."

"Yes sir." She paused briefly to grab Joker's hat from his head before leaving. "This is security for me. You get it back when you remember if there is a vid."

Joker's hands flew up to cover a spectacular case of hat head with a yelp of protest. Anderson yanked the hat out of Shepard's hands and tossed it back to Joker, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"You don't need security, Shepard. I will guarantee that the only copy of that vid will reside on my personal omni-tool. Isn't that right, Joker?"

"Yes sir!" Joker was entirely too pleased with the turn of events. Shepard shook her head and walked away.

Thirty minutes later Shepard reassembled her heavy pistol for the second time. She never changed out of her armor, so there was nothing left for her to do. Cleaning guns was second nature to her, almost meditative. It gave her a chance to center herself mentally before battle and prevented her from hovering over the crew getting ready.

Her eye occasionally wandered over to the two men suiting up. It took almost everything she had to not stare at the lieutenant's muscular body while he stood in the tight under armor. Then her focus would drift over to the hapless corporal, dropping pieces of armor at an alarming rate. Shepard's presence was clearly making him nervous, and she was fighting the urge to march over and smack him upside the head. He was going to have to snap out of it immediately or else things were going to go south fast.

After he was suited up, the lieutenant calmly pulled the younger man aside and spoke to him quietly. Shepard couldn't hear anything that was said, but it worked: Jenkins managed to get into his armor without further incident. It was not the way she would've gone about it, but he seemed to get the job done. And Jenkins wasn't even crying. She hadn't actually made anyone cry in a few years, but that wasn't a streak she was eager to end. She made a mental note to thank him later.

The ground team turned as the elevator doors slid open and Anderson and Nihlus stepped out. Anderson called them all over to discuss the mission.

"We are heading into an Alliance research station. They had been working on Prothean artifacts and had sent word that they uncovered something big. We lost contact with them shortly after that." He paused dramatically before continuing. Shepard fought the urge to smile. Anderson certainly knew how to create urgency in his team.

"This is why the Alliance and Council sent us here. We don't know what we are facing, so we have to be prepared. Shepard has command. Understand?"

Shepard and Alenko nodded. Jenkins attention shifted immediately to the turian next to them.

"Wow, are you coming too Nihlus?"

"Do you understand, Jenkins?" Shepard pulled out her best military bark. She had to get the kid under control immediately.

He snapped back to fact Shepard and saluted stiffly. "Sir, yes sir! Um, Ma'am."

Anderson shook his head and turned back to the elevator, but he wasn't quite fast enough. Shepard saw the smirk. Alenko and Nihlus both appeared to be struggling to keep their faces neutral too. Shepard shook her head and bit the inside of her cheek to keep up the hard look. The ground team piled into the shuttle and made their way to the dark station, Shepard chewing Jenkins out the entire trip.


	5. Chapter 5

A silence fell over the ground team as the shuttle neared the research station. The pristine exterior of the station did little to quell Shepard's apprehension. She had secretly held out hope that everything could be explained by simple loss of long-range communications from some technological glitch, but all the hails from the shuttle were also going unanswered. Entire stations don't just go dark without catastrophic events.

"Try them again." Shepard tapped the shuttle pilot on the shoulder as she gave her order, and then leaned over to listen for a response.

"SSV Normandy shuttle to Coeus station, seeking permission to dock. Come in Coeus." Silence was thick on the line - there wasn't even static to break the silence. The shuttle driver shook her head at Shepard. Shepard swore silently before turning around to address the ground team.

"Looks like we have to do this the hard way. Best case scenario, we are looking at a catastrophic failure of communications and nothing else, but we haven't made it this far in our careers by banking on the best case. Be prepared for anything, including hostiles. We don't know if the environmental systems are functioning, so I want everyone in breather gear before we dock." The team immediately followed her orders.

"We're in position, Commander," the pilot called over her shoulder.

"Right. Lieutenant Alenko, I want you to hack the doors to get us on the station. Once on board, I'll take point. Any questions?" She paused to give the crew a chance to voice any concerns. "Good. Let's move... and stay sharp."

Moments later the crew was standing in a desolate dock of polished metal and glass. Alliance protocol required two armed guards at every entrance, but the room was empty. There was no sound aside from bland music that played softly overhead. Shepard held up a hand to halt her team while she scanned the area around them, her eyes sharp for any clues. The room was spotless, as if the crew simply vanished. She took a few tentative steps forward, her senses on high alert. Something felt off.

"Get down!" Shepard yelled to her team as she hit the floor, her barrier instinctively flaring to life to envelope the squad. A barrage of bullets sparked off the barrier in bright blue bursts mere milliseconds later. The tempo was relentless. Based on the speed and directions of the flashes, Shepard inferred two automated turrets had descended from the ceiling along the back wall.

"Concentrate on the left turret. I've got the right covered." She yelled to be heard above the racket. They were successful within the span of a few heartbeats; two small explosions in rapid succession signaled the end of the immediate threat, scorch marks marring the metal walls.

"You have excellent instincts." Nihlus leaned in close to compliment her before he made his way over to the small desk in front of the destroyed turrets. He immediately accessed the open console on the desk, gaining access into the station's systems.

"Wow, Commander, I had no idea you are a biotic. They never told us that in school!" Jenkins had the exuberance and attention span of a puppy. Shepard did her best to ignore how old she felt yet again.

"I'm a real mystery wrapped in an enigma, Jenkins. Expect the unexpected with me." A wry smile played at the corner of her lips as the corporal froze, unsure how to respond. The lieutenant clapped a hand on the bewildered corporal's shoulder with a soft chuckle. Shepard brushed past them to join the turian Spectre at the far end of the room.

"The logs are missing. Someone wiped the system clean. However, security was activated from within the base. As there were no casualties here on the dock, that means either the hostiles are holed up farther in, or someone survived the attack and is trying to prevent another." Nihlus addressed Shepard without looking up from the terminal in front of him. "It looks like the system was activated from here." He brought up the digital layout of the station, and tapped one talon on a small room near the center of the base.

Shepard took a moment to memorize the layout, as well as mentally note every choke point and possible hazard along the way. The station was small, laid out in a simple grid pattern with the mechanical core at the center. Her eyes narrowed as she silently devised a plan: they would have to split up and clear rooms in a sweep from the outermost rooms inward to make sure they weren't attacked from behind, converging in the room blinking on the map. She held one hand over her mouth as she mentally went over the plan again, one finger absently rubbing the scar on her top lip as she considered every variable that she could think of. She nodded once to herself once she was satisfied this was the best plan of action.

"Nihlus, we need to split up. I will take the left side of the station and you take the right, and we will work our way to the center. You take Alenko and I'll take Jenkins."

"That is a sound plan, but I want Jenkins with me." Shepard opened her mouth to protest - she didn't completely trust the corporal to watch himself, and she was ultimately responsible for him - but Nihlus held up a hand to stop her. "You need someone with tech skills on your team. I read your files." He tapped one side of his head knowingly, his blue eyes danced and his mandibles flared slightly in something akin to amusement. "I want to get to the target room at the same time, not two hours ahead of you."

Shepard wanted to argue, but Nihlus was correct: her tech skills, while better than an average civilian, were pretty embarrassing for someone of her caliber. She could manage a simple hack, but she didn't want to put herself in a life-or-death situation that depended on a hack. She sighed, and a small chuckle slipped out.

"It certainly didn't take you long to find my weakness."

"Yes, but you more than make up for it. Plus, I can teach you tech. I can't teach instincts."

"Fair enough." Shepard signaled the other two men to come join them around the map of the station and briefly ran down the plan. "Jenkins, you're with Nihlus. Alenko is with me. This is the path we are going to take, but we need to watch out for the automated security. We can't shut it down from here. Based on the schematics, I am willing to bet there will be something in these areas." She gestured to several places along the map. "We need to be on guard at all times, though. We don't know what else we may run into."

The teams split up on the other side of the door, agreeing to keep comms silent unless there was an emergency. There was no other way to guarantee they wouldn't tip off any potential hostiles. As if turret explosions and gunfire hadn't done that already. At least they could potentially get the jump on the hostiles this way. Shepard nodded stiffly to Nihlus as they both prepared to turn from the shared corridor, going their separate ways.

Sparks flew from the deactivated turret at the bend in the corridor, right where she had anticipated. Alenko hacked it before it had fully descended, allowing them to slip by without making a sound in mere seconds. Shepard was impressed with his speed and skill. Things would've been considerably more time-consuming and explosive if she had been left to her own devices. Nihlus had been right; this was the most effective pairing.

The first lab off the corridor was as empty and untouched as the dock had been when they arrived. In fact, it was pristine. The room was completely empty save the shiny new lab tables and a few chairs still wrapped in protective packaging. Sheppard's quick research on the lab while en route showed that the station was less than a year old and operating at half-staff, so she wasn't surprised. They were able to clear it in a matter of seconds and move on. The rest of the labs along the side of the station were identical to the first, so they made short work of clearing them.

The defenses at the next choke-point were no match for Lieutenant Alenko's skills and fell silent before activation just as the rest had. Shepard squatted at the corner, gun held at the ready, before spinning into the rear hall. The scene was like something out of a nightmare - something she was far too used to. Deep red droplets flecked and marred the wall in several spots, the dark viscous fluids pooled around the bodies on the floor. She stood and slowly scanned the hallway for any signs of life, Alenko shadowing her as she approached the closest body. She froze as her eyes locked on the vacant dark eyes of the Alliance soldier at her feet, a long buried memory clawing its way to the front of her mind.

_The silence of the bunk was heavy, almost pulsing in her ears. The data pad in her left hand shook slightly as her green eyes tried to focus on the words through the veil of tears. The headline practically screamed across the top of the pad. __**Breaking News: The Alliance's Metis station - a research facility in the Armstrong Cluster - fell to an apparent pirate attack. There were no survivors.**_Oh god, this can't be happening. Please let all of this be some horrible dream; let me wake up to find Simon next to me._ A cold, hard lump lodged in her throat as she fought to get her hands to work. She finally pulled up the official reports, her mind unable to process the images in front of her. Crumpled bodies of Alliance soldiers lay among the unprotected corpses of the scientists in the horrid landscape. Her mind numbly scanned the list of casualties until they found their target: Simon was listed. They only found a few small body parts, but there was a large pool of his blood - too much for him to survive. The sudden metallic crack and the immediate pain in her hand brought her back to the moment. The shattered remains of the pad fell into her lap, blood dripped on the fragments, staining them - and her bedding - a deep crimson. He left her devastated and humiliated on their last shore leave, but she had secretly held out hope they would find a way to fix things. She loved him even still, and now he was gone - taking her future with him._

"Commander?"

Shepard jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder. She flared slightly as she spun around to find concern etched in the Lieutenant's features; his whiskey colored eyes widened in shock as a blue aura swirled faintly around him in response to hers. He closed his eyes briefly as he pulled his biotics back under control, unwilling or unable to speak until the task accomplished.

"Sorry about that ma'am." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before continuing. "Did, uh, did you know him?" He gestured at the Alliance soldier at her feet.

"No." She shook her head firmly. Any emotion in her face was instantly gone, hidden behind the perfect mask of confidence. "Let's move out."

Alenko blinked twice, apparently confused by the sudden change, but fell behind his CO wordlessly. They swung into the adjacent lab as one unit, guns at the ready. The room was chaos. Unarmored bodies, most likely scientists, littered the lab. Shepard slowly took in the scene: Monitors sparked, gunshot holes making any data mining impossible. All data pads were smashed into pieces throughout the room. Several specimen stands were illuminated, showing a significant lack of specimen. Whoever trashed this room had a clear purpose: to hide what was being researched.

"Alenko, on my six," Shepard barked as she raised her gun.

He fell into line behind her as she made her way to the door at the far end of the lab. His eyes danced around, alert for any changes in the environment, as she squatted next to a curious dark stain on the floor just inside the doorway. She engaged her comm as she stood in one fluid motion.

"Nihlus, I have turian blood here, and it left a trail. I would bet a month's pay that it ends at our target room."

"Copy that, Shepard. We're heading that way now."

Shepard and Alenko followed the gruesome trail to a sealed door, a dark blue handprint of three talons smeared above the red holographic lock. Shepard stood back and gave a sharp nod to the man next to her, and he sprung into action without any further instruction. Within moments the lock turned green and the door slid open with a soft whoosh. Her gut tingled, so she instinctively threw a barrier up to cover herself and the lieutenant mere seconds before a sharp bang echoed around the small room. The bright blue flash of impact on her barrier was almost dead center of Alenko's chest. She just saved him from having a very bad day. He blinked dumbly while his mind processed what just happened.

Fortunately for him, Shepard was already in control of the situation. She biotcally warped the rigged trap until it exploded, her body in front of Alenko. Ventus Kryik lay in a dark sticky puddle in the middle of the room; his blue eyes were dull and un-focusing. One mandible dangled lifelessly as his mouth opened and closed several times. Shepard felt sick to her stomach when she realized how much he looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air.

Alenko spun, gun raised, as heavy footfalls made their way towards the central room, but Shepard didn't move. She was squatting next to the fallen turian, offering what little she could as his life slipped away. Nihlus appeared in the doorway, Jenkins still at the end of the hallway struggling to catch up. The lieutenant dropped his weapon as Nihlus leapt to his brother's side.

"I... I won." The words disjointed and had an ominous gurgle behind them, but the wounded turian managed to get them out.

"Hush, Ventus. Save your energy. We will help you." Nihlus fumbled around his brother's multiple wounds in desperation.

Shepard stood back and hung her head. She sighed and walked away to give the siblings the privacy such a moment deserved. She also knew her mask of strength and confidence was in danger of slipping if she heard any more. This was a person who fought at her side and protected her at a desperate time, and she couldn't return the favor when it counted.

As she walked away she noticed the bloody trail disappeared behind another door. She caught Alenko's attention and motioned at the disturbing find. He whispered to Jenkins, who took over the post at the entry point, before he joined her at the side door. He quietly hacked the door. Shepard noted with a small amount of pride that his bright blue barrier enveloped them both before the door slid open. He was a fast learner.

The door led to the mechanical core. Shepard's heart dropped when she saw what the blood led to: a large bomb had been planted in the center of the room. Alenko sprang into action and ran to the bomb without a second thought. He stared at it for several seconds before he stood, shaking his head in disbelief.

"He deactivated the bomb. There is blood all over it, but he was successful." His quiet voice was reverent. "Whoever did this didn't want there to leave any proof. They would've succeeded, too. This bomb would've taken out the whole system, leaving only space debris."

Nihlus appeared in the doorway. His head hung low to hide his eyes, and his voice was thick.

"He is gone." He stood in silence for several minutes before he found his voice again. "He salvaged much of the research data, so we need to get back to the Normandy to go over it."

"Did..." Shepard paused, unsure how to proceed. She took a deep breath and just spit it out. "Did he know who attacked?"

Nihlus shook his head sadly. "He was unable to speak any more than you heard. He left a message for me, but it did not answer your question." He then hit a button on his omni-tool to play the message.

Ventus' deep voice rattled precariously on the recording. "Nihlus, I know you are coming. Know that you couldn't save me, even if you got here faster. I...have been damaged... far worse than you realize," he paused as he gasped several times before he found the strength to continue. "...but death is my salvation. I have succeeded. I won."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This ended up being longer than usual, but I didn't want to break it up. I am a little nervous about this chapter, so let me know what you think.

* * *

An uncomfortable silence filled the shuttle on the ride back to the Normandy. All eyes were on Nihlus, but the turian didn't notice. He sat along the rear wall of the shuttle, his head hung down as he fiddled absently with his late brother's omni-tool between his two taloned hands. The 'tool lit up occasionally, the rear compartment of the shuttle filled with a neon orange glow as Nihlus flipped through images and data on the screen before he shut it down abruptly with a sigh. It was more than Shepard could stand; her own emotions danced too close to the surface for her comfort. Long-buried feelings of rejection and loss were dragged up by the eerily-familiar sight of a devastated research station and the pain and sadness on the normally stoic Spectre only made her feel guilty. They could've made it in time to prevent the attack entirely if the Normandy didn't turn around to get her – or at least been fast enough to save Ventus. As it was, Nihlus was just in time to watch his long-lost brother die, and there was nothing he could to do stop it… and Shepard could only think of her own mess of emotions. Shame settled heavily in her mind, an oppressive physical weight.

She made her way to the front of the shuttle, unable to face the rest of the ground crew. She made brief eye contact with the shuttle pilot before settling in the seat next to her. Shepard felt another slight jolt of guilt as she realized she never introduced herself to the young woman guiding the shuttle, she didn't even know her name, but she didn't have it in her at the moment. Proper introductions would wait. Shepard pulled a data pad from a compartment next to the seat and didn't look up until the shuttle was safely docked in the Normandy and the rest of the crew disembarked.

Anderson stood near the front of the shuttle in deep conversation with Nihlus. He patted the turian's shoulder in a show of sympathy before his eyes caught Shepard. She could see the concern in his light eyes, even in the dim lighting, and she was filled with an urge to flee his insightful gaze. She kept her face carefully neutral as she approached and handed him the data pad.

"What's this?" The data pad caught him off guard.

"It's my full report. Everything is there for you." She brushed passed the captain as she spoke, intent on avoiding any further discussion.

"You never complete a report without hours of harping, and even then I have to practically stand watch over you as you do it." His voice was an odd mix of disbelief and concern. She noticed his hand moving to cover his mouth as she passed, one of his brows arched skeptically, but she chose to ignore it.

"What can I say? I discovered a new-found work ethic. Now I just need to see if I can make it last this time." She tried to insert a touch of humor to her voice, but it sounded forced, even to her ears. She brushed all Anderson's unvoiced concerns aside and made her way over to the lockers with the remaining two members of the ground team.

She peeled off her body-fitting armor, the cool air on her tacky skin a welcome relief. The armor dropped to the floor with a solid thud; it was much heavier than it looked. She was not a fan of the way the armor clung to her body, accentuating every curve… or lack thereof, but it was a gift from her father – top of the line – so she sucked it up and soldiered on. He meant well, and it was flexible for her style of fighting. She felt every bit as exposed as she sat on the bench in her black singlet and realized she had no idea where her personal effects were. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees and head hung low, and sighed. This day needed to end.

Anderson and Nihlus huddled together where she had left them by the shuttle, their heads together and voices low. She sat still on the bench as she picked up a few words in the silence, but most of the discussion was lost on her. The few words she did catch told her things were just beginning, but she knew better than to jump to conclusions; Anderson trusted her enough to fill her in. She had more pressing, though menial, matters to tend to: she needed to find clothes. Even _she_ found it difficult to feign confidence while sitting in skivvies. Plus, the cool air was now uncomfortably chilly. She shivered as goose bumps erupted up and down her exposed skin. She glanced around self-consciously without raising her head; her eyes peeked through the choppy fringe of red hair, only to realize she was alone. Both Jenkins and Alenko had changed and stored their equipment in the time she sat sulking and eavesdropping.

Shepard was aware of footsteps approaching from behind. She waited for Anderson's warm hand to fall on her shoulder, like he used to do when she was younger. The footfalls stalled behind her, but the contact never came. She finally peered over her shoulder, confused, and was surprised to see whiskey-colored eyes staring back with a mixture of apprehension and concern.

"Can I do something for you, Lieutenant?" Her voice was harder than she intended, and she had to force herself not to wince. He jumped slightly, one hand shot up to his neck and rubbed it lightly. That was clearly one of his nervous gestures.

"No, ma'am… I, uh, I realized I never gave this to you and I figured you didn't want to be indecent…" A blush shot up his neck at an alarming rate. "Not that you aren't decent now… um, wait…" Shepard arched one brow, and a look of pure panic spread across his chiseled features. "I mean, you will want to cover yourself… not that you aren't covered…" His mouth snapped closed and he dropped his head into his hand, eyes covered, and sighed.

"Are you always this eloquent, Lieutenant?" Shepard couldn't resist teasing him just a bit. The confident, mischievous man who so brazenly asked her to dinner was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a nervous bumbler.

"Only around you, uh, ma'am." He looked up sheepishly before picking up a bag and tossing it on the ground at her feet. "Here's some of your personal effects, the rest are in a locker by the med bay. Hackett had me pick them up from the SSV London. He also gave me a long package, said it was yours. That's in the locker too." His eyes searched her pale face for a moment before he continued "I, um, I felt bad for not saying goodbye. I guess… I guess I didn't need to, though." He smiled faintly before he turned away. "See you around, commander."

Shepard shook her head and a faint smile played on her lips as she stripped out of the singlet and pulled on her fatigues. It was funny, and kind of cute, to see him so discombobulated. She wasn't sure how she felt about such a self-assured, handsome soldier becoming so uneasy around her once he realized who she really was. That was when her dark mood descended over her like a little storm cloud once again. In all honesty, she was used to it; most soldiers were scared of her based solely on her reputation, once they realized who she was. The rest challenged her, assuming she was nothing but a carefully concocted media campaign – or an outright imposter. They all eventually kept their distance.

"Nice pity party you're throwing here, Shep" she muttered to herself as she walked to the elevator.

The rational part of her mind knew she was being overly dramatic. Her stomach rumbled with a ravenous hunger, and she always got moody if she waited too long to eat. Plus, there was all the emotional shit that she kept pushing back into the little dark corner of her mind. The pain of rejection still snuck up on her, which is why she often hid behind the ice-queen image. It was so much easier to keep people away, but she had already messed that one up. Food was the quick fix, so she punched the button for the crew deck.

The mess was practically empty. She expected as much, since it was not standard mealtime, and there was only one other biotic on board as far as she knew – and he was sitting at the table with his back to her. She loaded up a plate with some unappetizing grey sludge and made her way over. Lieutenant Alenko had his face buried in his omni-tool, shoveling forkfuls of the sludge into his mouth without looking away. He was either completely absorbed by whatever he was reading or else he was ignoring her, because he didn't acknowledge her presence. She decided not to press the issue by sitting on the far side of the table.

The food was bland, but filling. Shepard had no idea what it was supposed to be, but it got the job done. She was finished in a matter of minutes and briefly debated going back for seconds, but decided against it once she realized she was unable to identify the mystery food even after eating it. Her first instinct was gravy, but it could've been oatmeal, potatoes, pudding, or any other variation of drab slop. She was starting to feel more like herself, though.

She quietly deposited her tray, not wanting to disturb the man at the table, when her eyes fell on the row of lockers. She remembered that Alenko mentioned a box Hackett had given him, one that was not part of her possessions and that currently resided in one of those lockers. She suddenly felt like a kid on her birthday, eager to tear into the mystery package. She approached the locker bank and searched for her name, a smile playing on the corners of her mouth. She found it and popped it open when…

"Shepard! I need to speak with you." Anderson poked his head from his private quarters, his voice impossibly loud over the distance.

Shepard sighed and closed her locker. The box could wait. As she made her way over to Anderson, she noticed Alenko's head pop up from his tool, eyes wide with surprise as if he just now noticed he wasn't alone.

Anderson met her half-way, data pad in hand. His eyes lingered a little too long on her face and she had to fight the urge to fidget under his watchful gaze. Instead, she pulled herself into perfect parade rest, back straight and head held high, and stared back defiantly. She was fine, and she dared him to say otherwise. He knew her well enough to know when she dug her heels in, and she could see him switch gears from concerned family to commanding officer in that instant with just a small nod.

"Shepard, I passed on your report. The Alliance is sending a team to the research facility for recovery. Oh, and they wanted me to thank you for salvaging the security systems instead of destroying all of the turrets." He waved the data pad in his hand absently. "Apparently you saved them thousands of credits. I'm sure that is exactly why you did it, isn't it?" A wry smile played at the corners of his mouth. He was well aware of her penchant for large explosions, and the irony had not escaped him.

"You know me sir, always concerned about the bottom line."

"We aren't done yet, kid." He regarded Shepard with a critical eye once again before he continued. "Go tell Joker to get us to Eden Prime ASAP, and meet me in the comm room in 30."

"I'll head up there right away, but I would be willing to bet he is listening in on us and has already entered the coordinates." She thought it was silly that he was telling her to run across the entire ship when they had advanced technology at their fingertips, but Anderson clearly wanted her to make the trip.

"You're probably right, but please go make sure. Joker can always use someone to watch over him. In fact… Alenko, I want you to go up there too. You can babysit him until further notice." The corners of Anderson's eyes wrinkled in delight as he turned and walked away. Shepard couldn't help but notice Anderson spoke louder than needed, and she grinned at his deviousness. She waited for the lieutenant to deposit his tray and they made their way to the cockpit together.

Joker peered over his shoulder as they approached. He started speaking as soon as they were in earshot. "Yes, I know: we are en route to Eden Prime. And I resent the implications."

"What implications, Joker? That you were eavesdropping, or that you need a babysitter?"

Shepard flipped the bill of his hat while she spoke to him. She knew how much he hated people messing with his hat, and she was the only person to get away with it. She walked past his chair and leaned against his console, arms crossed across her chest and one leg crossed over the other. Alenko slipped into the open chair and got right to work with some tech stuff way above Shepard's head.

"It doesn't matter." He waved his hand as a quick dismissal of topic. He snuck a quick glance at the man sitting co-pilot before he leaned forward and focused his attention back on Shepard.

"How are you doing, Shepard?" His voice was low, nearly conspiratorial.

"I'm fine, Joker. Why wouldn't I be?" She shrugged his question away. His eyes searched her face, his gaze eerily similar to Anderson's. She didn't fight the urge to fidget this time. She absently picked at a calloused finger with her thumb on one hand while the other hand played with the hard ball of scar tissue in her top lip.

"Really, you're going to play dumb with me Rae?" Shepard glanced over to the lieutenant for any indication he was listening. Joker looked over as well before catching her eye and shaking his head once. She remembered how oblivious he had been in the mess, and knew how relentless Joker was when he set his mind to something. _This_ was why Anderson sent her up here. This was a losing battle, and she knew it.

"Really, I'm fine. I will be, at least." She shrugged slightly. "It just brought up some bad memories that I thought were long behind me. But this is all ancient history, and I've already made peace with it. I'm a big girl." She paused briefly, a slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I even got dressed all by myself. Aren't you proud?" She knew this was just a deflection tactic, but she didn't care. Joker seemed to relax a bit too.

"It's about time, Shepard. Now we just need to teach you to tie your shoes, then you'll be set."

"Why do you think I wear latching boots? No need for ties." She glanced down at her tool. "As fun as this has been, I have to go do work now. Maybe you should try it too, Joker." She winked at him, pulled his hat over his eyes, and walked away.

Shepard slowed as she approached the comm room. Jenkins leaned against the wall right outside the door, his eyebrows knitted in worry and mouth set tight. He straightened and stopped her as she approached.

"Commander, is it true we are heading towards Eden Prime?" He paced in a tight circle in front of her.

"Where did you hear that, Corporal?" Shepard was leery to give out any information Anderson hadn't authorized, so she fished around a bit.

"I overheard Joker say that is where we are heading." He froze momentarily and stared intently at his shoes.

"Then you know the answer, Jenkins." Shepard started to push past him for the door, but he stepped in front of her again.

"But why would we go there? Eden Prime is quiet. Nothing happens there." There was a tinge of hysteria to his voice, and Shepard was immediately on edge.

"You're familiar with Eden Prime, Jenkins?" The question was innocent enough, but Shepard knew it was a loaded one that could give insight to the reasons for his panic.

"I grew up there. My parents and sister still live there – my girlfriend too." Ah, it was starting to make sense.

"I heard it is beautiful there." Shepard brought it up to divert his attention. His face light up.

"Oh, it is a paradise, Commander… but it was too boring for me. Sasha, my girlfriend, was sad when I shipped out, but she is going to go wherever I'm stationed once we are married. There is so much out there for me to show her."

"You're right, Corporal. There is an entire galaxy of immeasurable beauty out there; plenty to show a special person." Shepard smiled reassuringly at him as she excused herself and slid into the comm room before he realized she had avoided his main question.

Anderson and Nihlus were both at the far end of the room, a data pad held between them. Anderson looked up as she entered and waved her down to join them. He handed her the pad to peruse while he brought her up to date.

"The research data Nihlus recovered on the station was big, Shepard. As you can see, they were working with several small prothean artifacts with relative success." He nodded at Nihlus, who then pushed away from the metal ledge in the room and took over the conversation.

"According to the research data, two of the larger artifacts started relaying data. Ventus was able to extract some information indicating a potentially significant dig site on Eden Prime. They sent several scientists down to the site before the station went dark, which explains why there were so few casualties on the station."

Shepard nodded as her eyes scanned the data pad in her hand. It was a collection of the major research from the station, including images of seemingly benign-looking fragments of metal and stone with glittering veins of color. She instantly recognized common patterns in three of the fragments, a clear indication that they were closely related - possibly pieces of one artifact. It took a moment for her to realize the room was silent. They were waiting for her. She lowered the data pad to her side and turned her attention back to Anderson.

"The scientists on Eden Prime contacted the Alliance this morning: they found an intact beacon. There is no telling what this discovery could mean for our civilization. Unfortunately, I wasn't informed of this until they responded to your report. Now we have been ordered to the colony to retrieve the beacon. The top brass is nervous since there is a direct connection between this site and the research station, especially since whoever hit the station took all the research with them. They have all boots on the ground babysitting the site until we get there... I only hope we get there in time."

"Captain, we've got a problem." Joker's voice cut into the room unbidden, voice tight. That was usually a bad sign. "Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this."

The three of them stood in silence as the chaotic scene unfolded before them. Shouts and cries could be heard over the staccato of gunfire, as the jerky vid focused on a handful of soldiers in Alliance gear before a female soldier threw the person recording the vid to the ground, and provided cover. The commanding officer appeared on screen describing the desperate situation: unknown hostiles appeared out of nowhere resulting in heavy casualties for the prepared ground force. Suddenly he, as well as every other soldier in the vid, froze and stared into the sky. A ship larger than most stations could be seen above the colony, lightning-like energy shooting from the organic-looking base of the ship. Her heart sank when she realized the Normandy was the only back-up available.

Anderson's last sentence hung over their heads. They were too late to prevent conflict, and possibly to secure the beacon. The hostiles were much more organized and numerous than Shepard had imagined possible based on the research station, but her gut told her they were connected.

"Joker, ETA." Anderson's voice sounded choked.

"We're fifteen minutes out sir."

Anderson spun to face Shepard. "Shepard, grab Jenkins and Alenko and go suit up. I want you ready for action before we hit the colony."

"Sir, I don't think it is wise to bring Corporal Jenkins on this mission. He was worked up when he heard the words 'Eden Prime' and that was before there was any danger. I am afraid he is too green to keep his head in this situation." Shepard knew they needed all the help they could get, but she had a bad feeling about this.

"Commander, Corporal Jenkins did an acceptable job while we were on the research station. I do not see a need for apprehension. He is just inexperienced, as you once were." Nihlus was willing to vouch for the young man, which seemed enough to sway Anderson.

"I agree with Nihlus - on the matter of Jenkins, at least. Having known you most of your life, I can honestly say you have never been as inexperienced as he is. You were terrifying, even when you were a toothless little girl." His eye twinkled with affection. "Now go gather your crew and meet us down in the cargo hold. I need you to go do the impossible again."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This is a short chapter focusing on Jenkins. It always bothered me that Shepard let him take point, which led to his death. I tried to find a reason for the action that made more sense.

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Shepard leaned against the wall near the weapon bench, one leg casually crossed over the other and her arms crossed across her chest. Her head hung slightly, her choppy red hair obscured her bright green eyes from the few crew members ambling about the cargo hold. She looked calm and relaxed to the casual observer, but she was anything but: her muscles coiled under her form-fitting armor, ready to pounce into action in a moment's notice. She kept Jenkins in her peripheral vision, concern settled in her gut like a rock as the young soldier paced erratically, unaware of his surroundings. He sat unmoving on the bench in front of his locker for five solid minutes as he stared at a digital image of an attractive young woman with dark curly hair and dark complexion before he began the pacing, and she wasn't sure which action concerned her more. Shepard knew he was emotionally compromised, and that got soldiers killed if they weren't careful. She glanced at the clock on her 'tool and realized they only had a few minutes before they reached Eden Prime. She had to use this time wisely. She pushed off the wall in one fluid motion and called her small ground team to join her.

"We are facing an unknown enemy and heavy casualties down there. I need you both on alert at all times and follow my orders without a second thought. Got it?" Her bright eyes skimmed the Lieutenant's face before settling firmly on the Corporal. Her jaw muscles tightened and bulged as she clenched her teeth. She just couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to be a huge mess.

Shepard knew her gut feeling was correct as soon as their boots hit the ground. Her bright eyes narrowed as they took in the surroundings from the vantage point behind cover on a rocky hill. She hated being dropped into such a vulnerable position, but it was the best they could do without endangering more of the crew; plus, it did allow her to get a bird's eye view on the situation – so to speak. Unfortunately, the situation was grim.

"Oh my god, what happened here?" Corporal Jenkins's voice choked with a combination of fury and despair. The scene in front of was a lot for a seasoned soldier, let alone a young one facing the destruction of his home.

Shepard had years of training and experience, as well as a vid of the attack as it unfolded to help prepare, but it was still difficult for even her to face. The lush green lands off Eden Prime were marred by the ravages of battle. Smoking ruins and charred bodies dotted the landscape and a majority of them obviously belonged to colonists. No matter how long Shepard had served, she never got used to dead civilians. These people had suffered greatly, their charred remains twisted in agony. Shepard kept her face neutral, but inside nausea tickled the back of her throat. She took a slow, cleansing breath and instantly realized it was a horrible decision: the light scent of flowers and rain mixed with the heavy odor of burnt flesh. It was enough to make her mouth water dangerously, vomit danced on the back of her tongue before she managed to swallow it back down. Jenkins was not as controlled: he retched as he fumbled with his helmet, which hit the ground next to him seconds before his lunch did.

Shepard pushed aside her emotional reaction and forced herself to take in the scene not as a person but as an officer. Her keen eyes began to pick up patterns in the seemingly haphazard layout of destruction – both of the colony as well as the dark brown scars of excavation in the earth. She could tell exactly where the digging had taken place, as well as the path of the invading troops based solely on those scars. She had also mapped out their safest and most efficient course to the beacon's location in the few seconds she took in the scene. Fortunately, the immediate area appeared to be free of hostiles, however, the sounds of gunfire still echoed in the distance and Shepard remained on high alert.

The team made their way down to a bog next to a stream and paused. They had not encountered any hostiles, but the corpses on the far left bank of the shore were proof they had been there. Shepard strained her ears for sounds of battle or approaching hostiles when she heard the man on her right take a sharp breath. Movement flickered out of the corner of her eye as she felt her skin tingle from the activation of his biotics. She spun to face the movement, gun steady and dark energy flared around her free hand as her eyes fell on an organic mass floating towards them with tendrils dangling below. She spotted several more in the distance, but they didn't seem to be aware of their presence yet. She erred on the side of caution and took aim, but Jenkins stopped her before she could fire.

"Those are just gas bags, commander. They're harmless. Sasha has them all over in the creek behind her family's farm. We used to bounce balls off them when we were bored…"

"Thank you Jenkins." Shepard cut him off. She figured he was a nervous talker and was only gearing up. The last thing they needed was a chatty soldier to give them away to the enemy.

"Wait… I know this place." Jenkins's voice was little more than a harsh whisper, but it shook dangerously.

Shepard whipped her head around to get a good look at him. His pale blue eyes were wide as they fell on a small etching in the rock off to their left, his pupils dilated and his skin ashen. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and vomited, his body shaking uncontrollably. Alenko jumped into his role as field medic and squatted next to Jenkins to perform a quick medical exam.

"He is hyperventilating and his pulse is below normal, Commander. He's in shock." Alenko turned back to his 'tool. A few keystrokes later, Jenkins slowly regained his footing. He swayed dangerously, but he was alert once again. Suddenly his eyes widened.

"Oh my god. No...no... This is Sasha's land. Nonononono... Sasha!" Jenkins wailed like a wounded animal as his eyes fell on the corpses. The grass behind the bodies was beaten down in a path leading back to a burnt-out housing unit. He jumped out from behind their cover and ran blindly towards the smoking remains.

"Jenkins!" Shepard shouted after the soldier as she flared. Time slowed as the harsh staccato of gunfire erupted from automated drones at the same time she enveloped the young soldier with biotic energy. Alenko took out the closest drone with his assault rifle as she biotically pulled Jenkins back behind cover, desperately hoping she was fast enough. Her heart dropped when she released him and he fell lifelessly to the ground, a gaping wound directly between his eyes. There was nothing they could do for him.

"They ripped right through his shields, commander. He didn't stand a chance." Alenko shook his head sadly. "He was so young."

"We will make sure he has a proper burial once we are done here. There is nothing more we can do for him now, Lieutenant." She watched the other soldier of signs of shock. She knew Jenkins was compromised before they left the ship, but she ignored her gut and he ended up dead. She wasn't going to make that same mistake.

Fortunately, she didn't have to worry: Alenko stood with a determined look on his face, his clenched jaw the only indication he wasn't as at ease as he appeared - her mirror image. She quickly keyed a marker in her 'tool so the Normandy could recover his body once the coast was clear and uploaded it to Anderson before they moved out.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry about the delay. I hope to get another chapter up this week to catch up a bit. A big thanks to all the reviews, favs, and follows. It really keeps me going!

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Commander Shepard's choppy red hair clung to her cheeks and forehead uncomfortably. Eden Prime's humidity created lush foliage and beautiful vistas, but it also created a marshy atmosphere in her armor. The strain of maintaining a constant biotic barrier only added to the sweaty mess, but both she and Lieutenant Alenko knew it was a necessary precaution. Corporal Jenkins was proof that standard shields weren't going to cut it.

Shepard roughly swiped her hair off her forehead while they took cover behind a large cluster of rocks. The low whine on the other side told her there were at least three more automated drones laying in wait, and she couldn't risk having her hair create a blind spot in the middle of a shoot-out. She popped a new thermal clip into her pistol as quietly as possible then made eye contact with the Lieutenant on her right. He wiped sweat off his brow and nodded. They had the upper hand, since the drones had not detected their presence yet as they appeared to be programmed to hone in on loud noises and wild movements. That knowledge helped the two Alliance marines avoid detection until they were ready to engage, but it also really bothered Shepard. That programming was a clear indication that civilians were meant to be targets. The people behind this attack didn't want to leave any witnesses.

Shepard nodded to Alenko, and they both popped out of cover on opposite sides of the rocks. Alenko overloaded the shields while Shepard drew their fire by emptying several rounds into the levitating machines. One drone dropped with sparks flying as Shepard ducked back under cover seconds before the remaining drones targeted her. Alenko took the opportunity to open fire with his assault rifle, which drew their fire and gave Shepard the opportunity to hit them with a warp. Seconds later there was only deafening silence and shards of sparking metal. Shepard and Alenko fell into an easy rhythm almost immediately, and the speed of the last little skirmish was evidence of how well they worked together.

They both ducked down behind cover again in case the sounds of battle alerted any more drones to their presence, as was the case the first time they engaged the automated hostiles - the ones that killed the corporal under her watch. She hated to think of what would've happened if she hadn't paused to upload the location of Jenkins's body to the Normandy. As it was, they were able to take out the second wave without any further casualties or injuries. She felt like most of her life came down to luck - she had the bad luck to be in these situations, but fortune was kind enough to usually place her at the right place and the right time to survive it. This was just another such case. Shepard peeked out of cover after several moments of silence. The immediate vicinity was still and silent, so they moved out.

They silently made their way to the crest of the next hill and she ducked behind a large boulder nestled between several tall trees. Alenko slid into the cover a few moments later, obviously winded. This was as good a place as any to take a break, and the lieutenant clearly needed one, so she sat back against the boulder and produced two energy bars from a hidden pocket in her armor. She tossed one over to the panting man and tore into the other, not concerned about devouring the entire thing in two bites. It wasn't until she caught him staring at her that a small flicker of self-consciousness crept through her.

"What?" She was amazed how one small word could sound both indignant and defensive at the same time, but it was nothing compared to her total shock once she realized what that happened when she asked it: a small fleck of the energy bar escaped her lips and landed on his armored chest. _That_ was why her mother always told her not to talk with her mouth full.

"You dropped something." Alenko casually motioned to the glob of half-chewed food on his chest, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"That I did. Here, let me get it." She looked directly into his eyes, challenging him to say anything else as she reached down, grabbed it, and popped it back into her mouth. "That should teach you to stare. Never seen a hungry biotic woman eat before?"

"I can't believe you just did that." He muttered as he shook his head in amusement, a grin tugged on his lips momentarily. He cleared his throat and looked at her seriously. "That wasn't why I was staring, ma'am. I was trying to figure out why we were stopping to rest when the dig site is at the bottom of this hill." He must've caught the glint in her eye at the mention of their current position. "Not that I am questioning you, ma'am."

He was a better soldier than he let on. He knew their exact location as well as their destination without consulting any equipment. She studied him intently for several moments. If he was that good, then he would be a good sounding board. He also needed to understand what they were potentially still facing.

"Something isn't right about this, and I have a feeling we have a lot ahead of us still. We need to take a break while we can."

"With all due respect, ma'am, nothing about this is right. This peaceful little colony shouldn't be covered in so much death and destruction."

"It's not just that." She shook her head while she continued on. "Since you are aware of our position, you should also be aware of the Alliance presence on this colony." He nodded but still looked confused, so she continued on. "There was an entire unit guarding the beacon when they were hit... but where are the bodies? We haven't stumbled across any other soldiers - living or dead."

"The only bodies we've seen were civilian." He spoke more to himself than her, but she knew he understood part of her concern. "And the only hostiles we've encountered were automated. Someone had to send them out here..."

"I'm glad to see we're on the same page. Someone is behind these attacks, but we haven't found them yet. They clearly intend to kill everyone, so we have to be prepared for the worst."

"You don't think they have left with the beacon, do you?" There was a hint of panic behind his voice, one that she wasn't used to hearing.

"No, Nihlus was approaching the site from the opposite side. If they haven't come this way, then chances are good they will run into him." She paused as she considered what to do next, then she activated her comms. "Nihlus, have you encountered the hostiles?" A screeching static in her ear made her gasp and grab her temples. The sounds seemed to bore through her head. She fumbled around the comm with her right hand, desperate to deactivate it and end the torturous sound.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Lieutenant Alenko was by her side, hand on her arm. She held up a finger to give herself a moment to assess the situation before she answered. She was slightly nauseated and there was a dull buzz in her ear, most likely a physiological reaction to the sudden loud noise and nothing to be concerned about. She shook her head roughly and pried her eyes open to find his warm, dark eyes searching her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wasn't prepared for something to be jamming the comms - and it was damn loud, too." She looked away and rubbed the side of her head absently. "Well, I guess we now know why we hadn't heard anything from Captain Anderson or Nihlus. It looks like we are on our own, so you better eat that bar and get ready to move out."

Sometimes Shepard got the feeling the universe eavesdropped on her. This was one of those times. She had no sooner told the soldier next to her to get ready than the sounds of gunfire erupted from the base of the hill - the dig site. Lieutenant Alenko shoved the remainder of the bar into his mouth and activated his barrier.

"Chew it at least, man. I can't perform the Heimlich maneuver on you in open battle." Shepard watched as Alenko swallowed the whole bar with a grimace. She just shook her head. "Good enough. Let's go."

They caught a glimpse of a soldier running towards them from their perch on top of the hill, several drones in close pursuit. Shepard tore her way through the overgrown forested area, biotics flying fast and furious as she struggled to do for this anonymous soldier what she couldn't for Jenkins. One of the drones fell, the unmistakable sound of twisting metal from the warp clear over the gunfire of the remaining drones.

A sharp hiss escaped Shepard's lips as she watched the running soldier fall to the ground, knocked down by a direct hit to her shields. The woman rolled onto her back as she slid, scoring direct hits to both drones before she came to a complete stop. It was at that moment that Shepard recognized the woman: she was one of the soldiers from the vid; the one who covered the camera operator.

"Thanks, ma'am. I don't think I would've made it without your help." The woman picked herself up and saluted. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212, ma'am."

"Yes, I recognize you from the distress vid. Where's the rest of your unit, soldier?"

"Hard to say. Several of us got separated and comms are down so we were flying blind. The few I was with didn't make it."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Williams." The younger woman looked up at Commander Shepard, surprised. Shepard ignored the look and continued on. "We are making our way to secure the beacon and could use an extra gun."

"I guess it is a good thing you found me then, ma'am." Williams looked slightly smug as she continued on. "I was just at the dig site. The beacon is gone, but I think I know where they are going. I can lead you there."

Shepard stood back and regarded the younger woman with a critical eye. She was certainly smug, but Shepard could deal with smug if the soldier had the goods to back it up... and Williams seemed to be more than competent. She nodded once as soon as she made up her mind.

"Welcome aboard, Williams. This is Lieutenant Alenko. Now take us to the beacon."

"Yes ma'am." The young woman took point and led them past the now-abandoned dig site.

"You really aren't one for introductions, are you Commander?" Lieutenant Alenko muttered to Shepard, low enough to not be overheard by their newest member. Shepard merely shrugged.

The area they had already been through was nothing compared to the horror that was the research camp. Shepard had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping open at the dismal scene. Prefab units were nothing more than smoking shells of buildings, their metal shutters blown in and frames collapsed to reveal glimpses of bloody remains within. None of the corpses wore armor. Scientific tools lay shattered and sparking on the ground amid the twisted remains of doors torn off their frames. The only things standing were multiple tall metallic towers that Shepard couldn't place. They were too close together to be proper comm towers. She focused on the nearest one, unable to discern the uneven structure at the top.

Shepard's comm crackled to life as she stood among the wreckage. She braced herself for another assault on her ears, one hand danced a fraction of an inch from the comm unit in preparation, but everything was quiet. It was so quiet she had to concentrate to make out any words above the static, and it took several seconds for her to even realize who was on the other end.

"...epard, do you... eat, do... copy?"

"Nihlus, is that you?"

"...small spaceport. Meet... there."

"You're breaking up. Did you say to meet you at a small spaceport?" She noticed Gunnery Chief Williams turn towards her; the young soldier's eyebrows crept up a fraction with recognition.

"Yes. Be ...pared... hostiles... ... geth..."

"Did you just say geth?" Shepard couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice, and Lt. Alenko wore the look of the shock she felt. Williams, on the other hand, looked like something just clicked.

"Yes... ait... aren? ... doin... ere?"

"I'm losing you Nihlus. What was that last part?" Only silence answered her; the soft static was even gone. She swore softly to herself and turned to her team.

"Looks like we are heading to the spaceport, and we have a small army of geth between us and the beacon."

"I thought those robotic assholes looked familiar," Williams muttered.

Shepard took a moment to process everything when she was suddenly jolted out of her thoughts. A sharp grinding noise, like metal rubbing on metal, shot straight through her. It stabbed at the dull ache in her temples the jamming signal left behind, momentarily clouding her vision. Out of the haze she was barely able to discern movement from the towers to her left. They lowered down to reveal the horrifying structures at the top of each tower: the missing soldiers.

Gunnery Chief Williams wobbled dangerously as her eyes fell on the tainted remains of her friends and comrades. Many of the impaled soldiers' features were corrupted by glowing veins of blue, but still recognizable. It wasn't like synthetics to use psychological warfare, but William's reaction proved that it worked. Shepard studied the bodies from afar and noted that each one of them still had intact armor. The only breaches were the gaping holes in the chest plates and open or missing helmets.

"Oh my god, Nirali. What did they do to you?" Williams stumbled towards the closest body, a woman with dark hair falling in clumps onto the ground next to her fallen helmet. One of the hands twitched and jerked as an electrical current flowed from the metal skewered through her chest. All the other bodies started twitching as well.

"Holy shit, they're alive!" Williams fell to her knees, her body shaking uncontrollably.

"Alenko, get her behind us." Shepard barked to the lieutenant as she took aim at the exposed head of the nearest body. The shot tore through the skull with a thick squelch, black and blue fluids painted the metal spikes behind the collapsed body. Two of the tainted corpses pried themselves off the metal spikes and howled as they ran towards the three soldiers.

"They run? What the fuck is going on?" Shepard caught them with a well place singularity as she frantically back-pedaled. They had to place more distance between themselves and these synthesized zombies.

Alenko mowed through several with his assault rifle, his body a barrier between Williams and the running cadavers. He backed up as well, but he wasn't fast enough. One of the bodies came within arms-reach of him and started sparking. His eyes widened in panic as his rifle jammed and he tossed it back a few feet with a weak biotic push. Shepard spun to hit the corpse with a biotic attack only to watch it fall at the lieutenant's feet. Ashley Williams stood behind him with her face pale but gun steady. She caught Shepard's gaze and nodded once.

"I'm good Commander."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you all so much for the follows and reviews. They make my day (and I am not ashamed to admit it).

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The ground was strewn with bodies; pools of dark fluids gathered in the exposed earth and created a foul-smelling paste that refused to be wiped away. Commander Shepard swore as she pulled her boot across an exposed piece of metal that appeared to be part of a stair, but the caked-on gore stayed firmly in place. This was not an exercise in vanity; the thick goop added weight to each foot which slowed her down considerably and made each step labor-intensive. Her extensive use of biotics had her at calorie depletion without the extra strain, and she could already feel herself getting grouchy from hunger. She finally gave up and kicked the metal before she joined her crew in the prefab building.

The small team was able to find a handful of survivors, but they were too traumatized to be of any assistance. Lieutenant Alenko had been calmly trying to pry information from them for almost thirty minutes without any success. The colonists kept quiet, most likely out of a mixture of shock and natural distrust of authority. That is why she left the room: she though Alenko would be less threatening to them. From Shepard's experience, most colonists didn't trust or depend on anyone outside of their small communities, but she hoped his naturally calm demeanor would help. However, the farmers gathered in the small mod unit were no exception; grim faces avoided eye contact as they huddled along a back wall silently.

The scientists they found were physically fine, but had not been unscathed. They looked as if they were barely holding themselves together, their eyes wide and anxious. One of the scientists gave Shepard a new appreciation for the phrase 'stark-raving mad' as he ranted on about the skies turning black and the end of all existence as we know it. Shepard tuned him out, his blabbering reduced to background noise while she spoke with his associate, a thin woman with rust-colored hair who paced and wrung her hands. The woman probed for information on the research station they had been on, knowing the significance of it going dark, but afraid to hear the truth. Shepard tried to break the news as gently as possible, but the woman broke down as soon as she heard the tone of Shepard's voice. The unhinged scientist became loud and frantic, yelling something about a turian. Shepard turned her attention to the rambling man.

"You saw a turian come through here?" This was the first possible lead on Nihlus since the comm cut out.

"I saw him before the attack - the prophet, leader of the enemy. His blue eyes soulless, mechanical, devoid of life." The man jerked erratically as he spoke, like his body was a malfunctioning synthetic, while his colleague's eyes widened.

"Do you mean Ventus? He must've been the one who led the attack! He was the only turian on board the station, and he knew what we were looking for and where. It all makes sense... those creepy eyes, the unintelligible writing in the margins of his work..."

"It wasn't Ventus." Shepard interrupted the nearly frantic woman before she lost all control... which looked like it could be any second. "He died on the research station. We found him hours before the attack here." Shepard knew the scientists had no reason to know that, but she felt a surge of anger at the accusation none the less.

"He died _saving_ that station. He deserves to be honored." Lt. Alenko's voice was quiet, but it cut through the room. The ranting scientist flinched, as if attacked. The other scientist withdrew to the back of the room like a petulant child who had been chastised. The colonists moved over so she could join them. Apparently they felt a new camaraderie with her. That clearly ended any further discussions, but Shepard really didn't care. She needed to get the hell out of the small building and back out to finish the mission.

"Seal the door behind us, and don't open it under any circumstances. The Alliance will send someone to aid you, and they will be able to get to you. Is that understood?" Shepard spared a quick glance around the room, but didn't wait for a reply. She knew she wouldn't get one.

The three soldiers stepped out of the controlled environment of the prefab unit into the rancid, smoke-filled air that hugged the colony. The smell had lingered on their armor while they were in the building, but it was nothing compared to the oppressive stench that awaited them outside. Shepard swallowed hard to keep her nausea at bay. Gunnery Chief Williams gagged as soon as the light breeze hit her.

"You sure you're good, Williams? I don't want to put you into something you can't handle. We can leave you here with the survivors and send someone back for you once we secure the beacon." Shepard watched the younger woman closely. She had already lost one soldier because he was emotionally compromised. Having your entire unit be killed, tainted, and then turned against you would certainly qualify as an emotionally compromising situation.

"I can handle anything you throw at me, ma'am." Williams fixed her dark eyes on Shepard, her features set in grim determination. Her tan skin was pale, and barely-contained horror danced behind her eyes, but she was resolute. "Those things weren't my friends; they were just soulless husks - abominations that need to be destroyed. With all due respect, ma'am, you aren't going anywhere without me."

"Fair enough. Let's get to it then."

Shepard motioned to Lt. Alenko. He understood her unspoken order and sealed the door of the mod unit behind them. This was the only way to guarantee the survivors didn't accidentally get in the way before help arrived. She nodded her approval once the task was completed and turned away, leading the team down to the space port barely visible on the horizon.

"I wonder if you will be so free in the way you talk to the commander once you know who she is." Lieutenant Alenko murmured to Williams as Shepard walked away.

"That's Commander Shepard; I knew it the second I laid eyes on her. I think you would be hard pressed to find a soldier thick enough to not know that."

Shepard grinned to herself as Alenko sputtered in the background. She was far enough ahead that most people wouldn't be able to hear any of the conversation, but she wasn't most people. This was one time she was really glad about that. Hearing the Lieutenant get defensive because the Gunnery Chief was more perceptive was priceless.

The small team encountered fairly heavy resistance as they neared the docks. More of the husks of Williams' fallen unit swarmed them, appearing as if they had been laying in wait, but she didn't hesitate this time. The sparking corpses fell in rapid succession, the armor doing little to protect them from the Chief's fury. Her nostrils flared as she panted after the last body fell, her dark eyes sparking dangerously, but that was not the end of the assault. A bullet hit a mound of dirt where Shepard had been mere seconds earlier, sending dust and rocks into the air. Several more peppered against their shields and barriers.

"Shit. It looks like we have some snipers on our hands. Williams, cover me as I close in." As a biotic, Shepard always felt most at-ease in close combat, where she could play to her strengths.

Shepard flew down the small hill towards the dock at the base as Williams returned fire. She tossed a few singularities where she guessed the shots originated without breaking stride. A figure bobbed helplessly in one of the swirling vortexes as indistinct clicks and squeals filled the air. A small explosion threw the body several yards, as well as a few more that must've been just out of range of her biotic attack. She heard a woman's voice crow in the background at the explosion, but the covering fire never faltered. A second explosion sent a wave of heat over Shepard and a metal body landed on the ground directly in front of her.

_So that's what a geth looks like_, Shepard thought to herself as she launched over the fallen body. She bounded up the stairs to the dock, picking off a few stray geth that escaped the explosions. She broke to the right side of the docks as Alenko's heavy footfalls behind her veered left. She slowly advanced down the dock, as silent as possible in heavily caked combat boots. Fire danced behind a small stack of crates, most likely some of Williams' handy work. The bright yellow-orange flames cast shadows that put Shepard on edge, unable to discern shadow from possible danger. The heat and stress only added to the small river of sweat running down her back as the accumulation of goo on her face hardened and cracked as she squinted. She spun to her left, gun at the ready, as a movement caught her attention. Her arm lowered a fraction of an inch when nothing was there; it was just another shadow.

Commander Shepard had one of the best reaction times in the Alliance. She only knew this because friendly competition often got the better of bored soldiers between battles. A few soldiers may have her beat with speed alone, but none could match her deadly combination of speed and aim. Even she was tasked to the far reaches of her abilities on the docks. The back of her neck tingled slightly as she aimed at the flickering shadow - like she was being watched. The soft clicks directly behind her gave her a mere fraction of a second to react. She spun as she threw her biotics behind her; the bright flashes from her gun illuminated the geth falling away from her. A viscous white fluid splashed her face as the bullets found their mark. Her hand shook slightly as she pulled it across her face, desperate to keep the fluid out of her eyes. It smelled vaguely of motor oil and rubbing alcohol, and she didn't want to find out if it had similar effects.

She meticulously cleared the remainder of the dock, unwilling to test her reflexes any more. Once she was satisfied that the area was clear she made her way back to where she and Alenko had parted. He and Williams stood side-by-side, alert and weapons ready. His eyes fell on Shepard first, widening as they took in her state.

"Are you alright, Commander?" There was genuine concern in his voice.

"Yeah, it looks worse than it is." Shepard waved off his concern lightly.

"Commander, you have a little something on your nose." Williams grinned as she pointed. The white fluid was congealing by the second. It dripped of Shepard's nose thickly, and she wiped at the drip as her face pinked in embarrassment.

"Laugh it u... Holy shit. Look at the size of that thing!" Shepard's eyes followed the largest ship she had ever seen as it raised from the surface of Eden Prime, arcs of electricity dancing between the tentacle-like ends at the bottom. It was the same ship from the vid, but the sheer size was mind-blowing. It was larger than some space ports she'd been on.

Seconds later the comms sprung to life.

"..._keep the line open and don't stop trying. Let me know if you hear anything_." The worry was apparent in Anderson's voice.

"_Yes sir. C'mon Shep... talk to me. You have to be there..._" Joker's voice was pleading.

"Joker. Hey, I'm here." Shepard was eager to cut in, to reassure Joker and Anderson.

"_About time! Anderson was totally worried, but I wasn't._" There was a brief pause, and Shepard could hear the pilot take a deep breath before he continued._ "What the hell happened?"_

"That huge ship just lifted off, so it must've been blocking the comms. I take it you haven't heard from Nihlus, then?"

"_We were hoping you were with him by now. I just now got your message about Jenkins. It's a damn shame_." Anderson's voice was grave. "_How are things down there?_"

"It's a mess. We've only found a few survivors. They were targeting anything that moved. And sir... there are geth."

"_Geth? Are you sure? They haven't been seen outside of the void for centuries_."

"Positive, sir. We took out a small cache of them." Shepard was unnerved that the ship left, as she hadn't found the beacon or Nihlus yet. "I am going to push towards the space port. The beacon was moved from the original location, and that was where Nihlus was heading. We'll keep you posted."

"_Copy that, Shepard. Stay safe_." Shepard grinned to herself. Even after all these years, Anderson still worried almost more than her parents did.

Lieutenant Alenko had discovered the tram at the far end of the docks as he cleared the area, so Shepard had him take point as he led them through the maze of shipping containers. He had been thorough in his previous sweep, so they made it to the landing without any confrontations. Shepard nodded as she stepped ahead of him to take point and led them down the small stairs. Bodies of the dock workers littered the metallic flooring, dark crimson blood dripped through the grates in the floors, splattering into pools collecting in the mud below. Shepard blocked the carnage as best she could, but something nagged her in the back of her mind. She froze as she tried to work it out. They had passed countless bodies since they landed on the planet, but something was different this time, something about the blood.

The small stream of blood that ran along the seams was purple, not red. She raised her gun slightly as she followed the blood back to the source. Several men and women lay along the path, sightless eyes frozen open in looks of horror as their blood joined the stream, diluting it. The stream grew darker as they drew nearer the source. Nihlus's body lay crumpled at the far end of the path, blue blood pooled under the gaping wound in his head. The shot had come from behind, the entry wound small and neat, the exit wound large and jagged. Pure luck was all that prevented his body from tumbling from the metal dock when it fell. One arm hung lifeless over the edge. There was no way Shepard would've noticed him without the bloody path to follow.

"I've found Nihlus, Captain." Shepard's voice was barely above a whisper. She had to fight to keep her voice level. "He was shot from behind, but it looks close range."

Anderson sighed heavily over the comm. "_Copy that. We will send someone to retrieve him after you complete the mission. Just upload the location like you did for Jenkins_."

"Will do." Shepard stood and wiped her hands roughly on her thighs, as if that could wipe away the feelings of guilt and anger. She opened her 'tool to finish the grim task when something occurred to her. "Anderson, his omni-tool is missing." She searched the turian's body carefully before she continued. A chill shot down her spine as she finished.

Shepard quickly deactivated her comm and motioned her team to do the same.

"His comm is missing. That means the channel isn't secure. Whoever did this can hear every word we say over this thing."

"Who would think of doing such a thing?" Lieutenant Alenko sounded appalled.

"_I_ did. That is how I survived the Blitz." Shepard didn't mean to sound defensive, but she couldn't help it. She normally didn't give a damn what other soldier's though, but it bothered her that this man would be appalled at something she did. At least he had the good sense to look contrite.

Shepard quickly typed up a message explaining the situation and sent it to the Normandy. They couldn't risk any breaches, so she had to go dark.

The tram seemed to take almost as long as the lift on the Normandy, but Shepard knew it was just her nerves distorting time. This mission was already FUBAR. She just wanted to complete it and get the hell off the planet.

The tram slowed down as a series of ramps came into view. Even from a distance Shepard could see several synthetic bodies milling about.

"Get ready for a real fight, guys." Shepard muttered between clenched teeth. Both Alenko and Williams grunted an acknowledgement, weapons ready. She felt like she was ready to deal with anything they could dish out, so long as she could put this all behind her.

A large bomb was nestled into the corner of the ramp next to the tram, almost out of view. Cold panic shot through her as her eyes fell on the flashing numbers, ticking away the seconds. Her fingers tingled as she unintentionally flared, the dark energy dancing along her skin. She was pulled out of her panic as a hum shot through the back of her head, one that she felt more than heard, as the Lieutenant's biotics flared in response.

Alenko paused for only a fraction of a second, just long enough for his dark eyes to connect with hers, before he pushed ahead of her and set to work.

"This is the exact same type of bomb as the one on the research station. It will only take me a few seconds." His calloused hands danced over the wires, almost too fast to follow. "Well, that one is done, but it was linked to four more."

"Then we better haul ass." Shepard ran up the ramp, clearing the path for Alenko. Williams brought up the rear, taking down anything shooting from behind.

There were startlingly few geth guarding the bombs, so they were able to disarm them all with time to spare. Well, Alenko was able to disarm them. The two women kept his ass out of the fire while he did it.

"Whoever planned this really didn't want anyone to know what happened. Those were enough explosives to take most of the colony off the map completely." Alenko wiped white fluids from the side of his face as he spoke. The last geth had tucked itself in next to the last bomb, and Alenko was the latest lucky recipient of a geth bath. "Man, this stuff is nasty." He muttered to himself as he unsuccessfully tried to smear the goo from his gloves onto a wall.

"Fortunately, we got here first. And just wait until that crap dries... it gets worse." A smile tugged at the corners of Shepard's mouth as she walked past the lieutenant down to the spaceport.

The entire port was vacant, save for the beacon. The tall spire stood on the edge of the platform, seemingly undamaged. It pulsed lightly; keeping beat to its own silent music.

"It wasn't doing _that_ when I saw it last time." Williams stood back and admired the beacon from afar, her voice tinged with awe.

"So you saw it before this all started?" Shepard approached the chief from behind after clearing the spaceport. She wasn't willing to take any chances.

"Yeah, they just finished cleaning it off, but it..."

Shepard's eyes widened as she watched energy flow out of the beacon, surrounding the lieutenant and dragging him towards it, and the edge of the platform. She pulled the young gunnery chief behind her and used the momentum to launch into the besieged man. The beam pulled her in with Alenko. She struggled, unable to gain any leverage to push either of them out of danger, let alone save them both. She didn't even stop to think. She gathered all the biotic energy she could muster and used it to throw the man to safety. The last thing she saw was him hitting the metal deck.

Pain lanced through her body, her muscles went rigid and unresponsive to her command. Her vision blurred as her head exploded in misery, feeling as if it was going to actually split open. Everything went red and she was vaguely aware of someone screaming in the distance. It was more than a scream; it was the sound of abject misery, and it threatened to overwhelm her. The voice sounded familiar... but she couldn't place it - her mind was no longer in her control. Images and sounds of misery, death, and destruction repeated in her head until it all blurred together before everything mercifully went black.


	10. Chapter 10

Something caught Commander Shepard's attention. She tried her best to focus, to find what it was, but the fog was too thick to penetrate and the target too fleeting. She fought against the fog and strained the senses she still controlled to no avail. Silence enveloped her again. Disappointment well up as the void swelled up around her, luring her back. She fought against it, but it was strong, yet comforting.

"...Shepard..."

_There_. Someone called her name, the voice echoed as if it traveled a great distance to reach her. She clung to the voice like a life-line, allowing it to guide her. The voice grew louder as she pulled her way through the haze, slowly regaining her body. The fog lifted, the void relinquished its hold, both no match for the combination of the voice and her determination.

"...have to wake up..."

She regained awareness of her surroundings, but couldn't react. Her shoulder blades ached from lying against a hard surface for too long. Her head throbbed. Exhaustion seeped through every pore. She focused on the voice, so warm and soothing. A soft, comforting darkness washed over her. Sleep tugged at her, beckoning. The voice would protect her.

"...all my fault..."

But the voice was upset. How could she be so at ease when this voice was scared, hurt? The words faded in and out, but the tone was pleading. She had to help. She fought against the weight of her body. Her eyebrows rose as high as she could force them, the only way she could pry her eyelids open.

"Doctor Chakwas, I think she is waking up. I will watch her until you get here."

Blurry shapes appeared between the curtains of eyelashes. Neither eye obeyed completely. Dry matter clung to her lashes on her right eye, allowing only glimpses of her surroundings. The left eye held tight, as if fused shut. Unease bubbled deep in her gut, an instinctual need to have control of her senses took over as her hand flew to her face.

Soft, but firm pressure forced her hand down to her side before she reached her eyes. Panic took over as she was restrained, causing her to flare unintentionally as she twisted under the pressure. A soft, familiar hum sang in the back of her head moments later. Goosebumps danced on her arms as she felt dark energy dance along her skin under the pressure.

"Commander, I need you to lay still."

The voice was firm, but the warmth still danced in the undercurrents. She trusted the voice, even if she couldn't place it. She obeyed. A warm, moist cloth fell over her eyes, blocking out the dim light of the room seconds later. Gentle pressure pulled the cloth across each eye delicately as she laid still. It was the ultimate act of faith.

Her eyes fluttered open to find warm, dark eyes staring back. A relieved smile played on Lieutenant Alenko's full lips, the dim lighting highlighted the thin white scars she had never noticed before.

"Welcome back, Commander."

Lieutenant Alenko spoke in hushed tones. The realization hit her hard: it was _his_ voice she followed, _him_ that she trusted instinctively. Shepard suddenly felt uncomfortable in her vulnerable position and sat up a little too fast. The world tilted and her head wobbled as she struggled to maintain her upright position. Her eyes spun behind her closed eyelids as she found herself unable to find equilibrium. A warm hand fell on the small of her back to keep her from tumbling off the raised cot.

"Are you ok, ma'am?"

"The spins," Shepard croaked, her throat raw and painful. "I feel like the day after shore leave, without all the fun of too many drinks, questionable decisions, and potential blackmail material." Alenko chuckled slightly.

Shepard wasn't lying about the way she felt. It was like waking up after a week-long bender: her head was tender and throbbed in time with her heartbeat, her throat burned, and dim light of the med bay assaulted her eyes. At least she didn't have to worry about kicking some random mouth-breathing alpha-male out of her bed with lame excuses. That part of her life was left behind on Elysium.

She lowered her head into her hands for a brief respite from the dim lighting, but the spins took over once more as soon as her eyes were closed again. Her mouth watered dangerously as she leaned into the support the lieutenant offered, which she promptly repaid by vomiting on his shoes. Her empty stomach offered nothing aside from bile, which burned her raw throat like acid on the way up.

Cool hands guided Shepard back down to the cot. A hiss escaped her cracked lips as a bright light danced from one eye to the other, her head screamed in agony in response. Both her hands flew up to cradle her temples, to keep her head from busting open like it clearly wanted to. She barely noticed the stab of pain in her arm over the thunderous pounding in her head. It wasn't until the warmth of the meds spread through her body and the vice-like grip of a headache loosened that she was fully aware of the doctor's presence.

"You really had us worried there, Shepard." Doctor Chakwas walked around the cot, and Shepard couldn't shake the feeling she was under inspection. "How are you feeling now?"

"Whatever you did just now helped." The pain was ebbing away, and even speaking didn't hurt as much. She cautiously pulled herself back to sitting, unable to shrug away the aid of warm, calloused hands.

"It appears you had migraine-induced vertigo. I gave you a shot to ease the pain."

"Okay, next question: how long have I been here and how did I end up here in the first place?"

"Um... that was my fault, ma'am. I must've activated a security field on the beacon and you threw me to safety... but you didn't get free. That was almost 15 hours ago." Alenko's features were twisted with guilt.

"The beacon. Of course that mission would end like this." Shepard sighed and shook her head slightly, instantly regretting the movement when her brain felt like it sloshed around in her skull. She stilled and took a slow breath to prevent a repeat performance on the lieutenant's shoes. The look of horror on the man's face was too much, so she reassured him once her stomach was back under control. "Don't beat yourself up about it. You had no way to know that would happen." Shepard offered the best comforting smile she could, but it felt more like a grimace. He smiled warmly in response.

Shepard had no idea how long they stayed there, eyes glued to one another. It wasn't until the door swished open and Captain Anderson bounded in that she even realized they had been staring. Dr. Chakwas cleared her throat gently as warmth climbed up Shepard's neck. The blush settled into her pale cheeks and intensified the pounding in her head, but she fought to ignore it. She caught a similar blush on Alenko's face as he turned away.

"Alenko, go let the rest of the crew know Shepard is up and about." That was Anderson's way of asking Alenko to leave without ordering him to do so... but there was more to it. Shepard could tell by the twinkle in his eye.

"Yeah, that is a good idea. Joker wouldn't let me near him after we brought you in, but I have work I need to do up there. I, uh... better go clean up first, though." Shepard flinched, mortified that she puked all over her new lieutenant.

"How's our patient, doctor?" Shepard was mildly offended that he asked for the professional opinion first.

"Everything seems normal, aside from a migraine. There was some unusual brain activity - abnormal beta waves and increased REM, but nothing too concerning. I won't release her completely until that headache is cleared, though."

"Fair enough. Can you give us a moment, please?" Chakwas nodded, even though she looked slightly perturbed at being kicked out of her own med bay. Anderson waited to continue until the doors hissed closed. "How are you feeling, Shepard?"

"Like hell, sir." Shepard winced as she cleared her throat, the scratching pain returning with a vengeance.

"I'm not surprised your throat hurts. Alenko and Williams said you screamed until the beacon exploded and the blast knocked you out." Anderson didn't try to hide the concern on his worn features.

"Williams is on board?" Shepard ignored the newest revelation and focused on the information she could work with. Anderson just nodded. "Good. She is an exceptional soldier. Plus, we had the misfortune of being down a crew member..." Shepard's voice faltered. A large, warm hand fell over hers.

"Jenkins was not your fault. I should've listened to you. The blame lands on my shoulders." He held her gaze, refusing to look away until she acknowledged what he said. Finally she nodded.

Anderson became all business as soon as that was cleared up. He went over the entire mission, including the survivors, hostiles, and Nihlus. He took detailed notes as they discussed the mission, preparing her report for her as they went along. They had to both admit that the entire thing was a complete mess. Most of a colony was wiped out, a research station was nearly destroyed, a Spectre was killed, and the beacon exploded. The Council was going to want answers, and they didn't have much to provide. All was not lost, however.

"We went over the comm transmission between you and Nihlus on Eden Prime. We found something once we cleaned it up - broke through the static. Here - listen to this." Nihlus's voice sprang to live in the room with the push of a button. Guilt and sadness shot through her as his voice filled the room... a voice now silenced. She bit her lip to fight back the emotions as the entire conversation played out, echoing through the room.

_ "Shepard, do you copy? Repeat, do you copy?"_

"Nihlus, is that you?"

_"The beacon has been moved to a small spaceport. Meet me there."_

"You're breaking up. Did you say to meet you at a small spaceport?"

_"Yes. Be prepared. The area is swarming with hostiles. I have encountered several geth so far."_

"Did you just say geth?"

_"Yes, geth are behind the attack. Wait... Saren? What are you doing here? I thought this was a classified mission."_

"The comms cut out after that. But this is proof Saren was there!" Captain Anderson's eyes danced dangerously.

"Well, I guess that is something we can give the Council. We have nothing to hide here. We did all we could."

"They still won't be happy that the beacon was destroyed. Did you get anything from it, anything we can offer the council? A little info would be better than none."

Shepard closed her eyes and swallowed hard. The pain in her throat was like she just gargled glass, and she winced slightly. That pain was nothing compared to what she endured while the beacon held her, and she was terrified it would wash over her and not let go this time if she tried to remember. Anderson sat patiently and waited. She had no choice.

"I couldn't make sense of most of it. I just remember scenes of death and destruction - synthetics slaughtering people. It felt like a warning, but I don't know of what."

"We will need to tell the Council about this."

"So they can buy me a night light for my bad dreams?" Shepard knew she was out of line as soon as the words escaped her lips. "I'm sorry, sir. That was uncalled for."

"I understand your concern, Shepard, but we need to give them all the info we have."

"Yes, sir." She turned from the captain, preparing to leave, when a though stopped her. "Sir, did my team use the comms after I was knocked out?" Her voice was quiet.

"Yes. They called for immediate evac for you - said the beacon pulled you in and then exploded. Why?"

Shepard fought to keep her face neutral as she spoke. "I was just curious, sir. I trust we have established a new comm line now, correct? I just want to make sure we are as secure as possible." She could tell the moment Anderson understood the implications. His features creased with added concern.

"I will have the team on that ASAP. Now, I need to update a few friends of mine on your condition, so if you would excuse me." Anderson approached the door, but froze before exiting. "Oh, and Shepard, I have something for you in my quarters. It is nothing urgent, so just stop by when you have a moment." He smiled warmly at the younger soldier. "Now go eat. That is an order."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I hope to have another update soon, but there may be a slight delay from family obligations. I really appreciate all the follows and reviews. You guys are awesome!

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Shepard picked idly at the large grey mound of mystery food on the tray in front of her. She knew she should eat, but she just couldn't quite bring the fork to her mouth. Her stomach was still feeling rather... delicate (even though she loathed using that word for herself in any situation). There was still residual dizziness from the migraine that made her stomach roil uneasily if she turned her head too fast, and the excess acids in her otherwise-empty stomach were only exacerbating the situation. It didn't help that the food was not appetizing whatsoever. Hell, being recognizable in any way would be a good start.

She lifted a forkful up to eye-level and examined it suspiciously. The bag said it was chicken casserole, but there was nothing in there that indicated it was anything but wall putty ; just a uniform grey paste. There was no smell to the food, which was probably a good thing, but it didn't make her want to eat it. She twisted the fork over and dumped it unceremoniously back onto the tray. It landed with a wet thud, and left a small splatter pattern on the table. She was acting like an ill-tempered child, forced to sit at the table until she cleared her plate, and she knew it. She always got irrationally grumpy when she went too long between meals. Fortunately, there were no witnesses; the mess was empty.

Shepard knew it was only a matter of time until someone came through. Alliance ships were never completely silent, even in the middle of the night. She leaned back from the table, subconsciously putting as much distance between her and the food as possible as she decided to see what time it actually was. The dim lights in the room gave nothing away and that was one question she forgot to ask. Plus, her head hurt too much to do the math. Good thing she had technology at her fingertips. She raised her left hand to activate her tool, only to find an empty wrist. She sighed dramatically and dropped her head into her hands, both elbows on the table.

"I haven't seen you pout like this since we were kids. Man that brings back some memories."

Shepard gave Joker the one-finger salute without looking up. She hadn't heard him approach, which meant she probably dozed off with her head hanging precariously over her still-full tray. He chuckled as he lowered himself into the chair opposite her.

"You won't feel better until you eat something." Shepard looked up to find Lieutenant Alenko standing next to her holding two trays, concern evident in his warm eyes. He set one down in front of Joker and gestured to the empty seat next to her. She nodded and he sat. "Trust me. Those migraine meds are hell on an empty stomach."

"Yeah, I know. It would help if we had some real food on this ship, though. This crap looks too much like the goo the geth splattered all over me." She twirled her fork through the cold slop as she spoke.

Alenko froze with the fork half-way to his mouth. He eyed it suspiciously before dropping it with a sigh. "Thanks. Now I can't eat it either."

"That just leaves more for me. Suckers." Joker slid all the trays in front of him, creating a small buffet line of slop. He shoveled several forkfuls into his mouth, grinning like a fool and letting the grey matter squeeze between his teeth.

"Speaking of acting like a kid... didn't your mom used to kick your ass for doing that?" Shepard had to hold back a small gag as some of the food spilled over Joker's lips and clung to his beard.

"Didn't stop me, did it?" Joker shrugged as he filled his mouth past capacity yet again. Alenko shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He clearly hadn't spent much time with Joker yet.

Shepard chose to ignore Joker's antics. She spent more time with him than either cared to admit, and she knew he would continue as long as he got a reaction. In fact, he was probably trying to get her to throw up. He wouldn't be so eager if he knew how easy that would be at the moment. Her stomach spun dangerously from the combination of the grey goo dripping from his mouth and the wet squelch it made as he pushed it through his teeth.

"I'm going to go look for something else to eat." Shepard shot to her feet a little too fast and swayed slightly.

"I'll help you." Alenko shot up behind her almost immediately, his hand on her shoulder for support. She didn't know if he jumped up to keep her from falling, or to keep from getting sick from Joker's antics. One glance at his slightly green features told her it was the latter.

Alenko made his way over to the small kitchenette area and began rifling through the cabinets. Shepard decided to check her locker. She used to keep a small stash of food for such emergencies in one of her bags. Hopefully it was still there.

The locker door flew open and bounced off the next locker with a loud clang. Sometimes she forgot her own strength. She blushed slightly as she realized all the heads in the now-full mess turned to stare at the racket. She waved to the assembled crowd in acknowledgement and they all hastily turned back to their meals. She grinned to herself as she realized she somehow managed to embarrass - or scare - all of them. Well, not all of them... but Joker was hard to embarrass.

A long box in the back of her locker caught her eye. Her heart jumped as she remembered Alenko mentioning a special package Hackett sent with him. She carefully pulled the box out of the locker, wishing she was in a more secluded spot than the middle of the mess. Why was her locker way out in the middle of nowhere, anyway? She glanced around self-consciously before opening the box. Joker was the only one watching her. She stuck her tongue out at him and popped the top of the box open.

A thin, spongy mat rolled into a tight cylinder peeked out of the tall box. She pulled it out and stuffed it into her locker. She would definitely be putting that to use in the near future, but she needed to eat first. She reached back into the box and found a data pad with a note typed out on it.

_Sparky,_

_I know you are a grown woman perfectly capable of watching out for yourself, but a parent's job is never completely finished. I figured I would do what I could to make sure you take care of yourself. Plus, I know how you feel about standard rations. This should hold you over for awhile. I am just sorry I couldn't give this to you in person. Enjoy._

_I love you,_

_Dad_

Shepard smiled sweetly. She found it funny that a large part of the galaxy was intimidated by her father. He could be a total hard ass, but he was nothing but a big teddy bear to those in his inner circle. Most people were never allowed past that gruff exterior, though. She really _was_ a lot like her dad, and her mother reminded her of that at every possible opportunity. She chuckled as she tucked the note into her locker, and then turned her attention back to the box. He mentioned food, and she was starving.

"Score!" Shepard crowed as she pulled the container out of the box. She looked around the room and noticed most of the remaining crew diligently avoided looking in her direction, despite her joyful yell. A wry grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. She must've really freaked those poor people out.

"Hey Alenko, I've got something you might want to see." Shepard called over to the man desperately rummaging through the cupboards.

"I bet you do" Joker remarked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

Shepard shot a nasty look Joker's way before turning her back to him completely. Alenko approached her locker, not even trying to hide his curiosity. He either didn't hear the remark, or he was very good at ignoring things.

"Looks like we're set until we dock." She held out the box, a variety of foods tucked lovingly within.

"Is that peanut butter?" He gingerly dug through the contents of the box. "Man, you have a bit of everything in there. Are you sure you want to share?"

"I can't let a fellow biotic starve. Besides, it is my fault you can't stomach the rations now." She shrugged casually, doing her best to ignore the way her heart sped up while he watched her. She could tell he was still unsure about sharing, his forehead wrinkled slightly in concern. She really didn't mind sharing, so she came up with a compromise. "I tell you what; you can get the next load of snacks when we dock."

"Hey, we will be docking at the Citadel sometime tomorrow. I am sure I can replenish your stocks there. If you are sure..."

"Just take the damn food, will ya?" Joker's exasperation made Shepard laugh. Alenko looked around, slightly embarrassed, but they were the only ones left in the mess. She was slightly impressed that they had managed to scare off the entire crew.

Joker grumpily retreated back to the confines of his cockpit once he was denied any of the goodies in the box, leaving Shepard and Alenko alone in the mess. They ate in amicable silence for several minutes, but Shepard was slightly uneasy because there was a delicate subject she needed to discuss with her lieutenant. She was not usually one to shy away from confrontation, but she found it hard to broach the issue.

"Is there something wrong, Commander?" Alenko watched her features closely, his eyebrows knitted in concern. Clearly he had noticed the change in her mood.

"No. Well, yes, actually. I was going to wait until we finished eating to discuss this, but I might as well get it over now." She sighed when she realized she was delaying the real conversation. She sat her cookie on the table and leaned back, pulling her 'Commander' face on to hide any emotions before continuing.

"I need to discuss your performance down on Eden Prime, Lieutenant." Her voice was strong and authoritative. Her resolve almost crumbled as she watched his face fall, but she held strong. This was her job, and sometimes soldiers needed saving from themselves. Jenkins was proof of that.

"This has nothing to do with the beacon. I already told you that part was not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong there." She wasn't totally heartless; she reassured him the best she could. That wasn't the issue she was concerned with. He looked up, his dark eyes clouded with confusion.

"You hesitated when your gun jammed and it almost killed you. I don't want to think of what might've happened if Williams didn't snap into shape when she did. She saved your life down there." Shepard watched his face carefully before continuing. "You are a biotic, and a rather impressive one at that based on your dossier. That is one more weapon in your arsenal, and I expect you to use everything you have at your disposal to protect your life and mine. I can't bring you with if you are not prepared to do that. If you have a mental block, you need to work that out and you will not be on the ground crew until it is done. Is that understood?"

Lieutenant Alenko nodded briskly, his face set determinedly. Shepard nodded back as she gathered the remainder of the food. She knew it had to be stashed safely in her locker or there would be nothing left of it by the end of the day. She silently made her way to the locker and hoped Alenko took it as the dismissal it was. She kept her face hidden in its depths much longer than the task required, partially to give him enough time to take the hint and leave, but mostly to give her a chance to collect herself.

"With all due respect, ma'am, I cannot allow you to leave me behind." His voice rang out through the otherwise empty room. Shepard jerked back, eyes wide. She never expected him to be the type of soldier to talk back to authority.

"Excuse me, _Lieutenant_?" The sharp edge to her voice could cut glass.

"I also noticed something down on Eden Prime, ma'am: you froze when you saw the bomb." His face was also calm and detached from emotion. Shepard's green eyes flashed dangerously, and he noticed. He held up a hand, a way to hold back the storm long enough to explain.

"You're right, I guess I do have a mental block, but I am not the only one. I _am_ responsible for protecting your life, and that means I need to be there to handle tech until you can work through that block."

The words hung in the room. It took everything she had not to flinch when he called her out, because it was the truth. She knew it... but she didn't expect him to see through her so easily. They stood on opposite sides of the large room, practically mirror images: backs straight, muscles tense, eyes searching for clues on how to proceed.

He was right. She dropped her head slightly, unwilling to hold his gaze when he realized he won. She nodded once. "So how do you suggest we work out these issues while remaining safe, Lieutenant?"

"Well, I, uh... I can set up a secure terminal to work on tech skills with you. I can even do it in here. Nobody would question two biotics being in the mess at all hours."

"And this stays between the two of us?" It was phrased as a question, but with the unmistakable tone of a threat. She looked up to see him fighting against a grin, and losing badly.

"Absolutely, ma'am."

She nodded once. "Good to hear. Now, does this ship have a gym?"

Alenko blinked several times, surprised by the sudden change in topics. "Not officially, no. We... uh, we threw a few mats down in a corner of the cargo hold... but that is about it."

Shepard nodded again. "That will work. I want you to meet me down there in an hour."

"Ma'am?" Confusion clouded his warm eyes.

"We're going to spar. You will have to use your biotics or get your ass kicked. Your choice." A feral grin spread across her full lips. "I will be good with either decision, so be ready." With that she turned on her heel and made her way to the stairs.

"Yes... yes, ma'am." Alenko's quiet voice barely carried to her.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I am sorry about the long delay. I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Please let me know if you catch any errors. I did my best to go over it, but something small usually slips through (and it drives me nuts). I am grateful for every single review, follow and fav. Thank you all.

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Shepard took a deep breath as she leaned back against the wall outside Captain Anderson's quarters. He asked her to meet him there so they could discuss things in private, but he was taking his sweet time and Shepard was growing impatient. The cool metal wall soothed her flushed skin, so she leaned into it more, leaving a face print on the reflective surface. Some crew member would not be happy about cleaning that, but she really didn't care at the moment. Her alabaster skin had managed to burn, despite the environmental filters of her suit. Or perhaps the sun wasn't to blame; they had no idea what effects geth fluids had on skin and she was the lucky test subject. All she knew was that her skin was sore and, if the distorted reflection of the metal was any indication, quite red.

As she pulled back enough to study the warped reflection, she also noticed her choppy hair was chaos. It stood away from her face of its own accord, large sections standing completely on end and making her look like her head was aflame. She tentatively reached up to pat one of the offending chunks back down, but was surprised to find it hardened into place. Shepard tried to run her hand through her hair, but failed miserably. The combination of sweat, geth-goo, and whatever the nasty black crap the husks spewed had mixed to create disgusting pomade that got her fingers stuck close to her scalp. A deep chuckle accompanied the shadow that appeared behind her.

"Holy hell, no wonder the crew avoided looking at me." She turned to cast an accusing glare at Captain Anderson. "Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like this? Why didn't _you_?"

Anderson held his hands up in surrender. "I figured you had more important things to worry about. We were all just relieved to see you up and about, so I hope you can forgive us. Plus, it didn't look like that in the med bay."His eyes twinkled slightly as he spoke. With that, his face sobered and he gestured to his door. "Shall we?"

They both relaxed into chairs around his desk, not feigning formality in the private setting. He asked how she was feeling before he set to business.

"We are starting to get reports back from Eden Prime. The teams that landed after we left have secured the colony. There were more survivors than we originally anticipated, but most were on the outer edges." He paused, and Shepard noticed he seemed to be struggling to continue. She waited quietly, and he eventually heaved a great sigh before continuing.

"We tried to contact Jenkins's family, to notify them of his death. The reports weren't pretty. The ground team found his youngest sister standing over the bodies of the rest of the family, shaking uncontrollably but holding them all in an impressive barrier. She lost consciousness as soon as she knew she was safe." His face seemed to age a decade as he spoke.

"She was the only survivor. Poor kid is only 13. She isn't even amped; they had no idea she was a biotic."

Shepard's hand flew up to her mouth, guilt gnawing at her stomach. If only she had been faster, that poor kid wouldn't be all alone. "What are we doing for her?

"Don't worry, she's taken care of. I have a friend at Grissom Academy. I have already contacted her and everything is all set. She will probably be in the hospital for awhile, but she will be transitioned over as soon as she is ready."

Shepard nodded silently. She knew the casualties of war weren't always the ones on the field, but it didn't make it any easier. She started to rise to leave when Anderson's hand caught her wrist and pulled her back down. Apparently he had more to discuss.

"As you may know, Nihlus was the last surviving member of his family."

Shepard dropped her chin to her chest, unwilling to look her mentor in the eye. "You're not helping the guilt complex there, Anderson." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

"Don't be like that, Shepard. He was a soldier and he knew the score. Even you can't save them all, no matter how hard you try." He didn't continue until she raised her head, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "He was prepared for this, even discussed his plans with me before the mission. I am not sure if he was always so organized, or if the death of his brother prompted him, but it really doesn't matter."

Anderson rummaged through one of his desk drawers for several moments; a sound of triumph escaped his throat as he sat up with a small box. He slid it across the immaculate desk and waited for Shepard to take it.

"What's this?" Shepard eyed it suspiciously, as if it would suddenly jump up and attack her.

"This was prepared by Nihlus. He instructed me to give it to you if he didn't survive the mission." Anderson's warm eyes never left her face as she sat and stared at the package. He didn't rush her, just sat patiently for her to come to terms with the events and proceed. Eventually she sighed gently and pulled the box towards her, popping it open with one slightly shaking hand.

_Commander Shepard,_

_I pushed for the opportunity to work with you for several years, and I am grateful to have finally been given that chance. If you are reading this, then our time working together has come to an end. It is one of the risks of those in our profession. My hope is that we had sufficient time together to guide you into the Spectre I know you can be, but that is not guaranteed, so I will offer a few words here. Your skills and intuition are impressive and will get you far. That alone makes you worthy of joining our ranks, but that isn't what drew me to you. You have an innate ability to judge the strengths and weaknesses of both friend and foe, an ability possessed by few. My brother saw it on the shores of Elysium all those years ago. You saved him more than you may ever know, and I can never thank you properly for that. This is all I can do. I have included a recommendation to be delivered to the Council. I have faith that you are Spectre material, and I will do my best to see that happen. All my possessions are now yours, as well as my credits. All I ask is you inter me with my family on Palaven. I am also leaving my brother's omni-tool in your care. Much of the contents are heavily encrypted and I have yet to break them, but I feel they are important. Please keep this safe._

_Spirits be with you,_

_Nihlus_

Shepard pushed the contents of the box around, taking stock. The letter of recommendation lay at the top, with the omni-tool, several key cards, and a data pad with relevant data filling the bottom of the box. She looked up, her breath hitching slightly but her eyes remained dry. Anderson watched her closely before nodding once. He understood completely.

"I can't take this." Shepard shook her head lightly, aware of the dull throb that sprung up with the movement.

"You don't have a choice. Nihlus was nothing if not efficient. He made it all official." Anderson laid one large, rough hand on hers in comfort. They sat like that, in silence, for several minutes. The familiar gesture reminded her of her father, which wasn't a real stretch since he and Anderson had been close friends her entire life.

"This reminds me: I should check in with my parents." Shepard raised her left arm to activate her tool, only to find it empty. She had completely forgotten. "Do you know where my tool is?"

Anderson winced slightly. "It got fried. Alenko took it to see what he could do while you were out."

"Oh shit, Alenko!" Shepard's eyes flew wide as she jumped to her feet.

"Don't worry, he won't find anything on there that is classified. You and your father are both neurotically careful in your correspondences." Anderson's mouth tugged slightly at the corners as he spoke.

"Well, I _wasn't_ worried... but thanks for planting that little grain in my head. I was supposed to meet Alenko down in the cargo hold for some training. Can you let him know I am on my way, but will be a few more minutes. I have to do something about this mop on my head really fast." Shepard lunged for the door, her mouth running faster than she was. She could hear Anderson calling after her, but she chose to ignore it.

The cargo hold was significantly less empty than usual, with several crew members positioned on crates around the blue mats on the floor. They all chattered excitedly, a kinetic energy flowing through the large room. She slipped in unnoticed and stood amongst the crew just long enough to get a hint at the excitement: someone let the sparring match out of the bag. Alenko leaned against the far wall of the ship, head hung low. He looked like he would rather be just about anywhere else. At that moment she realized the difficult position she had put him in. She had half a mind to call the whole thing off.

Shepard found it funny that nobody had recognized her yet, but she wasn't surprised. Her shower was so rushed she hadn't bothered to even run a towel through her hair, and the water darkened her locks considerably. Her outfit was decidedly not Alliance issue: a pair of soft yoga pants, a sports bra, and a fitted tank. She pulled the hat she lifted from Joker's locker low over her face and padded barefoot across the mats to stand next to the visibly upset Lieutenant. The crowd never even batted an eye at her, still chattering on about watching the two soldiers in action and complaining that she hadn't even shown yet.

"What took you so long?" The question caught Shepard off-guard. Alenko hadn't even looked up, but he knew it was her. She mirrored his position against the wall, momentarily struck dumb. A warm smile spread across his downturned face a moment later, once he realized she wasn't going to answer. "You don't spend much time around other biotics, do you Commander?"

"Ah, how quick you are to throw my own lines back at me. I see how it's going to be, Alenko." She chuckled softly, doing her best to keep her voice low to avoid detection. "I'm so sorry about the crowd. I don't know how they all found out..." She let the words drift off as a thought sprung to mind.

"Joker."

They both spoke at the same time, and laughed instantly. He hazarded a fleeting look in her direction and a genuine smile broke through the worry across his features.

"I guess that is what I get for talking to him about this."

"Wait... you told Joker about this? Are you insane?" She slid across the wall and bumped shoulders with him, trying her best to ignore the electrical spark that shot between them. "I could've saved you some work and just announced it over the comm system."

Shepard glanced around the room, using the bill of the cap to hide her eyes. Several of the crew members were paying a little more attention to her, so it was only a matter of time before everyone knew she was already there.

"I'll call this off for tonight. You don't need an audience for this." Alenko started to say something, but apparently decided against it. That was for the best, because she was not going to give in on this point. Dealing with a mental block was a delicate matter.

"Huh. It looks like I won't have to." Shepard muttered to herself, but Alenko overheard and looked up, curious. "Don't look now, but the party's over... and mom looks pissed." She giggled in Alenko's ear.

"I sincerely hope you all have something better to be doing right now." A sharp voice rang out through the large room; the metallic surfaces only heightened the acoustics so the words bounced around, giving the impression of many angry women yelling. The gathered crowd scattered just as drunken teenagers would if their party was busted, and it only helped solidify Shepard's joke. One look at Alenko and she lost it. Her loud, brash laugh echoed throughout the room, drowning out Chakwas's firm scolding. Unfortunately, it also drew the irate woman's attention.

"And as for you two... you both should know better." For some reason that was the one phrase that always bothered Shepard. She instinctively hung her head, slightly ashamed. "Neither of you have been officially released by me, nor will I allow you to throw one another around until you get said release." Chakwas stood directly in front of both soldiers, arms crossed in front of her chest and one foot tapping angrily at her side.

"I apologize. We were just planning to work on a few areas that need improvement based on the last mission. I didn't realize you had not fully released us. Can we just work on some easy maneuvers?" Shepard practically batted her eyelashes at the woman looming in front of her.

"Shepard, you were unconscious for the better part of a day. No doctor in their right mind would let you jump right back in. Now off to the med bay with you." Alenko shot Shepard a grin, almost taunting her that she got in trouble and he didn't... but it was short lived. "Both of you."

"Wait, what?" Alenko looked every bit as shocked as he sounded, and Shepard couldn't help but laugh.

"You heard me Lieutenant. I apparently need you both where I can keep an eye on you. You will be reevaluated in the morning, and I will determine if I see fit to release you then."

Dr. Chakwas lead the way to the lift, her grayed head held high and her movements precise. Shepard and Alenko made eye contact, a look of disbelief passing between them. Shepard shrugged and gestured ahead of them with one arm.

"After you, Lieutenant."

Shepard took drag, shaking her head in amusement. They made quite the little parade. Too bad all the onlookers were scared off; this occasion that merited a photo, a little memento.

An audible click came from Shepard's right as they marched through the cargo hold. There, next to the weapon bench, stood a very amused Gunnery Chief Williams with her 'tool held high. Shepard was instantly thrilled that someone else thought it was a moment worth immortalizing. She was going to need a copy of that pic.

_Oh shit, I really dropped the ball here_, Shepard thought to herself as her eyes fell on the young soldier. She had yet to properly greet the newest crew member. Hell, she still hadn't spoken with a large majority of the crew. She put that on her mental to-do list, since it was looking more and more likely that she was in this for the long haul. There was something she had to do immediately, though.

"I will be just a moment, Dr. Chakwas. Go ahead and I'll catch up with you." Shepard shouted ahead, only to receive a stern glare from the woman holding the elevator doors open.

"You have five minutes, Commander. I realize you outrank me, but my will is law when it comes to my patients. Don't make me send guards down to seize you." There was playfulness to the doctor's words that were almost hidden behind the prim enunciation and cold tone. Shepard saluted stiffly, a coy smile just barely playing across her full lips.

"We wouldn't want that, ma'am."

Shepard waited for the lift doors to slide closed before she made her way over to the young soldier. Williams pulled herself to a parade rest, shoulders back and head held high as Shepard approached. There was no hint of the playfulness that was there mere moments before, her face and stance all business.

"Welcome aboard, Chief Williams. You are a great addition to the crew."

"Thank you ma'am. It's an honor." Williams held her rigid position, dark eyes focused just over Shepard's shoulder. "I am just glad to see you up and about."

"I'm sorry I didn't stop down sooner to welcome you properly." Shepard stepped to the side, directly into the Chief's line of sight, and smiled reassuringly. "I imagine it is pretty lonely down here. You can come up to the crew deck and join the lieutenant and me in our grounding if you are interested."

Williams let her shoulders relax slightly, a hint of relief on her strong features. "Tempting offer, ma'am, but I am fine down here. Addison is keeping me company. Aren't you Addy?" Williams yelled across the cargo hold, a smile playing on her full lips. Shepard had no idea who or what the chief was talking about, and it must've shown. "I mean Service Chief Chase, ma'am."

"Are you talking about me over here?" A beautiful, petite blonde woman appeared from behind a stack of crates. It took a few moments for Shepard to place her.

"Nah, I was just telling the Commander that you were keeping me company." A slight pang of jealousy swept through Shepard as she noticed the easy banter between the two young women, something Shepard never quite managed.

"Oh yeah, you're the shuttle pilot. Nice to have a name to put to the face now." Shepard smiled as she extended her hand. The young pilot smiled as if she was slightly surprised and shook the outstretched hand.

"I'm also the relief pilot for the Normandy on the rare occasion Joker gives up his seat. It doesn't happen often, and I got tired of twiddling my thumbs in the co-pilot chair, so I spend most of my time down here. I'm just glad I have another woman to talk to while I maintain the shuttle. It can be a real sausage fest." Her light blue eyes danced joyously as Shepard and Williams laughed. Shepard had a sneaking suspicion that she was someone to keep an eye on during shore leave.

"Well, Commander, you should probably make your way up to the med bay. I don't want to have to choose between you and Chakwas's armed guards." She leaned in slightly, whispering conspiratorially "Plus, that doctor kinda scares me." Her warm grin faltered as she pulled back and her face became unreadable. She cleared her throat self-consciously as she pulled herself back into parade rest. "Thank you for stopping by, ma'am." Shepard got the distinct impression that the Chief was not comfortable around her, and it bothered her. She decided it was neither the time nor place to push the issue, so she merely nodded and left.

As the door to the med bay slid open, Shepard was shocked to find Chakwas standing next to the doorway with a clock counting down on her 'tool. She swept her steel grey hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind one ear, her blue-grey eyes dancing with mirth as she spoke.

"Just in time, Commander. Please take a cot."

Shepard made her way over to the cot she spent most of the last day on. "How about we just make this my cot, doc? Sound fair to you?" Shepard called over her shoulder as she settled in.

"I honestly hope you don't plan on spending that much time in here, Commander." Chakwas didn't even bother looking up from the terminal on her desk as she spoke.

"I dunno... you have read my files, haven't you? I have a feeling we are going to get to know one another really well."

Alenko chuckled from the cot next to hers. Shepard crossed her arms behind her head and made herself comfortable, then turned her head to look at him. She was surprised at how heavy her eyelids were as soon as she relaxed, his warm laughter lulling her to sleep. Maybe the doctor did know what was best.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I apologize for the long delay between postings. I lost a friend to cancer and it took me awhile to get back into the habit of writing. I want to thank all of you who sent encouraging messages. It really helped. I hope I managed to maintain the tone of the story. Enjoy.

I made a few quick changes to this chapter. I originally moved a few things around, and accidentally removed the Destiny Ascension. Oops. Thanks to Negrath for pointing that out.

* * *

Shepard silently padded her way up to the front of the ship. She noticed, with a small amount of pride, that none of the crew along the way was aware of her presence unless they caught a slight glimpse of movement. She could've made a great infiltrator if she had any tech skills whatsoever. She didn't really fall into any neat categories as it was. Fortunately, the N7 ranking was a broad umbrella encompassing all her skills without the need for specific classification.

The hairs on her arms stood on end, so she knew she only had moments to make it to her destination in time. Shepard picked up the pace and came to a silent stop behind the pilot's chair as bright blue-tinted light filled the cockpit. She made it - barely. The hum from the relay sang a harmony with her biotics in the back of her head as the familiar tug of the jump started in her stomach and radiated outwards, leaving her body tingling. The thrill of the jump never got old for her. While it was true that the effects of the jump could be felt anywhere on the ship, she always preferred the window seat of the cockpit. The bright light of the relay added something special that she craved ever since her first jump as a small child, when her mom brought her up to get the full experience. The same smile of innocent joy found its way to her lips as it had back then, the ability to refuse to sit on the pilot's lap the only difference from that experience so long ago. She hated the patronizing implications of being forced to sit on someone's lap even as a young girl, and she was damn sure not going to give Joker the satisfaction now. Besides, she would probably shatter his pelvis.

Shepard stood silently for several moments to allow the joy of the jump dissipate naturally.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Joker spoke without turning around. She didn't try to hide her surprise. She didn't need to; he was the only one there and he wasn't looking.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Besides the fact that you're predictable?" He cast a small grin over his shoulder before nodding to the empty co-pilot's chair.

Shepard eyed the empty chair briefly before shooting a mischievous grin back to Joker. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a lovely little blonde in this seat? She seems like she is quite capable..."

"I don't go after married women with kids. Even I have some scruples." Shepard's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that revelation, and Joker noticed. "What, are you shocked that even I have limits?"

"A bit, but that isn't what shocked me. I just had no idea. I really need to get to know this crew better."

"Besides," Joker continued, his mouth turned up slightly as it always did when he was being a smart ass... which was often "she's as much a blonde as you are."

"So you really are a blonde! I knew there was a reason I didn't recognize you when we met." Lieutenant Alenko's voice appeared behind them, catching them both off guard. Joker face-palmed and Shepard tried her best to cover her laughter behind a fake coughing fit as he came to stand between them.

"Are you really that thick, LT?" Chief Williams appeared on the other side of the pilot's chair, her dark head shaking in disbelief.

Joker subconsciously reacted to the sudden appearance of the newest recruit by pulling his shoulders back from their normal slouch and puffing his surprisingly well-muscled chest out slightly, much to Shepard's glee. She was so going to bust him for that later. He caught her watching him and started muttering to himself.

"You know, I was just saying this helm was too big and I missed the claustrophobia of the older ships. Thanks for taking care of that guys. No really, I think there may be room for another two or three people in here. Who else can we call up?"

Joker continued to mutter as his hands flew over the console in front of him, his fingers little more than a blur in the orange light. Both Alenko and Williams glanced over to Shepard, as if to get her take on the current situation with the pilot throwing a small tantrum. She just shrugged, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. He was trying to distract her from what she clearly saw, and it wasn't working. Williams shook her head slightly before she turned her attention back to Alenko.

"Are you just screwing with us, LT?"

"No, it makes sense. I remember now; all the recruitment posters after the Blitz showed a beautiful blonde girl in Alliance Blues and all the guys in my unit complained that women like that didn't actually... uh... never mind."

A deep crimson blush crept up Alenko's neck and face as he realized what he said. The rest of his mortified stammering drowned out by the boisterous laughter on his right. Only Shepard sat silent, eyes wide from shock at being called beautiful. She couldn't remember the last time someone had complimented her off the battlefield. It had been years.

"Alright, that's enough guys. We don't want Alenko's head to explode from all the blood rushing up there." She quirked one eyebrow at the two crew fighting a severe case of the giggles and did her best not to smile. It took several moments under her stern glare for them to pull themselves together. Then she turned her attention to the handsome man next to her doing his best to disappear into the wall. "I appreciate the compliment, Lieutenant, but my statement when we first met stands. This is a firm rule of mine."

"Uh, yes ma'am."

She turned her attention back to the pilot and gunnery chief. "And you two need to give him a break. It is understandable that he was confused. He was right: I was blonde then." She noticed Alenko relax slightly as she spoke. She sighed, resigned to getting it all out, and addressed the room as a whole. "It was a quick dye job before shore leave that I was 'encouraged' to maintain. And I had enough war paint on for those recruitment ads and ceremonies to cover a small ship. It was all a pain in the ass that I ditched as soon as possible." Joker's lips twitched unmistakably, so she shot him a warning glare. "And you have nothing more to add to this conversation."

"Alright, sure. I get the message." He held his hands up, but the grin never wavered.

Joker's hazel eyes twinkled in the way that usually meant he was up to no good, and Shepard felt a small sense of dread steal over her. He could be such a pain in her ass sometimes. He seemed to be weighing something in his mind and opened his mouth as if he had come to a decision, but he was cut off by a sudden squeal to his right. All eyes snapped over at the very girly sound coming from the hard-ass young soldier. Williams stared out the window, dancing with barely-controlled glee at the sight ahead of them.

"Would you look at the size of that thing? It's huge!" The Destiny Ascension rapidly filled every view the Normandy offered, the sheer size commanding all attention. The unique design betrayed the stunning amount of power contained within. Williams' dark eyes shined with wonder, her mouth agape.

"Yeah, well size isn't everything." Joker muttered. Shepard couldn't choke back the sudden guffaw.

"Why so touchy, Joker?" William's question sounded innocent enough, but she possessed the skill of making her voice practically drip with seduction. The effect was immediate: Joker turned bright red, and his cap did nothing to hide it - no matter how far down he pulled it.

The friendly chuckles died down almost instantly and silence fell over the small group at the sight: the Citadel loomed in front of the ship, growing ever larger as they approached. The pulsing nebula colored the outstretched arms in pastel shades, the Normandy too far away to make out the hive of life within. The artificial lights of the arms gave the illusion of veins pulsing within the hard structure of the station. Shepard froze at the sight. It had been years since she had been on the Citadel, and not all the memories tied to the site were pleasant. She tried to swallow, but found her mouth and throat painfully dry.

Movement out of the corner of her eye brought her back to the moment, and she found Joker watching her carefully. He glanced meaningfully down to her clenched fist in her lap when she made eye contact.

"You good, Commander?" She noticed the professional way he referred to her, and knew it was intentional. She slipped into commander mode almost instantly and nodded, ignoring the stinging from the crescent moon-shaped marks in her palm rapidly filling with blood.

"This trip will be so much easier than the last one, trust me." He smiled reassuringly.

"Easy for you to say. You don't have to stand in front of the Council and explain why a top-secret beacon exploded. Or that one of their hand-picked goons went rogue and murdered the one they sent to evaluate me."

"Exactly. Still sounds better than last time." He stared her down, and the other two soldiers looked on in silence, clearly confused. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't they trying to get you to be one of those goons too?" He winked as a shit-eating grin spread across his scruffy face.

* * *

Shepard knew of Donnel Udina's reputation from various well-respected sources, including both her parents and Anderson. They all attempted to be diplomatic when speaking of him, but she could read between the lines: he was not a well-liked man. She was also keenly aware that some personalities just didn't mesh well, through no fault of either party, so she always preferred to come to her own conclusions. It took a matter of seconds for her to decide everyone else was too kind. Udina was a giant ass.

"I see you brought the entire crew with you, Anderson." The politician didn't bother to give them more than a cursory glance before burying his head back into the data pad in front of him. It gave the ground team a stellar view of his receding hairline as well as his sparkling personality.

"I may have been able to move the meeting with the council up if you had been courteous enough to warn me you were running early. At least that would've been the professional thing to do, Anderson." He sighed dramatically as he set the pad aside and rose to greet Anderson properly. Shepard noted with a small amount of delight that the pad was nothing more than a gossip rag. Nice to see how the diplomats spend their time.

"And you must be Shepard." Udina's lip curled up as his eyes landed on her. "I'll have you know you dumped quite a mess in my lap with your spectacular failure on Eden Prime. Fortunately, I am good at my job." He walked away from the assembled group without a second glance and began rifling through a small pile of pads on a second desk in the room. Alenko and Williams took the opportunity to make a break for the far side of the room, which overlooked the stunning vista of the Presidium. Shepard had half a mind to join them when Udina spun around to face her once more, data pad in hand.

"I have a list of talking points for you to go over before we meet the Council. Our meeting isn't for several hours, so even _you_ should be able to memorize them." One side of the aged politician's mouth quirked up in a smarmy grin apparently pleased with the implied insult. "You are to stick to these points. If their questions veer away then you are to steer them back with one of the answers I have given you. Is that understood?"

Shepard glanced over to Captain Anderson questioningly. He nodded once in response. That was good enough for her.

"With all due respect, sir, I have nothing to hide. I was there and am perfectly capable of answering any of their questions honestly and..."

"Yes, we have all seen how capable you are." The look of disdain was plain on his weathered features. "I read the reports. I have also gone over all your files. I fail to see what is so special about you."

"There is nothing special about me, sir. I just..."

"On that we can agree," he sniffed dramatically. He actually sniffed. The other two members of the ground team leaned over the railing of the balcony pretending not to notice, but Shepard saw Lieutenant Alenko's back stiffen and Chief Williams' head snap around, eyes bulging.

"I don't know what the Council saw in you. I just hope you haven't managed to push back our chances of a human joining the Spectres for another twenty years." Udina turned to look pointedly at Anderson. This man clearly enjoyed pushing buttons.

"Commander Shepard didn't mess anything up, Udina. Nihlus forwarded his recommendation to the Council before his death." Anderson's voice was even, but there was a subtle strain. He was obviously struggling to keep his temper under control with the prickly politician.

"Yes, well we will have to see what I can do to clean this situation up." Udina waved a hand distractedly in her direction. "Anderson, I will need you to come with me. I have a lot of work ahead of me, and I will need an assistant. You will have to do." Udina somehow managed to look down his nose at the soldier standing before him, even though Anderson practically towered over him. "Come along now."

The two men were almost to the door when Udina paused. "And don't forget your talking points, Shepard."

Anderson stopped long enough for Udina to get out of earshot before turning back to his crew.

"So, is he everything I promised?" A wry grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"And then some."

"Don't worry about the talking points. Not that I had to tell you that, I'm sure. Just be ready to meet when we get the word. I'll ping your 'tool."

"Uh, sir, my 'tool got fried."

Anderson shot a questioning look over Shepard's shoulder. The soft, solid footfalls she was beginning to recognize as Lieutenant Alenko's approached from behind.

"Oh yeah. I was going to give this to you earlier, but I got distracted. I finished it up after you passed out last night." Alenko held a 'tool out with one hand as the other rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, a small crooked smile playing on his lips. "I wasn't able to save your old 'tool, but I was able to salvage all the data. You didn't lose anything, and you get a better 'tool too. Win-win." A spark danced between their hands as Shepard took the 'tool, sending a jolt down her arm.

"Damn, Alenko. We need to be more careful about that." She laughed as she shook her hand.

"Now you have no excuse not to make the meeting Shepard." Anderson chuckled slightly at the face Shepard made. "Feel free to explore the Citadel. There is plenty to see here. Or..." his dark eyes danced as he looked between the two soldiers in front of him "you could put the Alliance training facility I reserved for the day to good use. Doctor Chakwas is tucked safely aboard the Normandy - in case you were wondering. Just be ready when we need you."

"Yes, sir!" Shepard saluted tightly as the captain left. She spun around to face her ground team, her face alight. "Let's go have some fun."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Again. Also, I had to repst this. The end of the chapter got cut off somehow (most likely a copy/paste error on my end). I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

Commander Shepard confidently led her small team through the Citadel, enjoying the sights and sounds along the way as they wandered through the labyrinth of the Citadel wards. They slowly made their way down through the lower levels, taking the long way to their destination. While use of the rapid transit system made more sense, this was the first time either of her crew had been on the Citadel. She justified the meandering path as a way for the other two to see more of the sights. It was just a coincidence that the path she chose also avoided all the parts of the station she associated with painful memories.

This place truly was the melting pot of the universe, a place where species and cultures interacted and played off one another. She really did enjoy the flurry of activity and blessing of anonymity the Citadel offered, despite her original apprehension. Nobody gave her a second look here, even though she was armed to the teeth. Although, now that she thought about it, it did seem that the crowds parted in front of her. Perhaps it was just the fact that she maneuvered through them with ease. She was confident it was not because anyone recognized her. The Blitz was several years behind her - nothing more than a footnote in history lessons for most species, and she was told on more than one occasion that humans all looked the same. Plus, she was eavesdropping on conversations as they strode through the wards. It was an old habit that often provided surprising leads. When she was feeling particularly bored or adventurous she liked to turn off her translator and put all of her studies to use, deciphering banter in their native languages to keep her mind sharp. She didn't have that in her today, but she still kept her ears open. Her name never came up.

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle as she overheard an argument between an irate customer and a merchant: the shopkeeper said most aliens thought members of other species all looked alike. She slowed slightly to hear the response when a set of vibrations on her wrist pulled her attention away. She paused to activate her new 'tool, and immediately turned towards the man on her six.

"Pink? You made my 'tool pink?" She arched one brow as she eyed the lieutenant skeptically, drawing a panicked look from Alenko and a hearty laugh from Williams. The neon pink light cast an eerie glow on her pale skin which made her resemble a reanimated corpse. She suddenly found herself thankful that she couldn't see her whole reflection in that light.

"Joker told me it was your... ugh." He pulled one hand over his face as he realized Joker pulled another one over on him. "Never mind, I will fix it."

Shepard waved him away. "It isn't important."

Alenko shrugged and then furrowed his brows. "The Council can't be ready for us yet. Anderson and Udina left less than an hour ago."

"You're right: it was just Anderson letting me know the Council has agreed to have C-Sec investigate. That is what they are willing to give us at this point. Now we just wait until they are ready for us."

"But a proper investigation could take weeks." Williams chimed in.

"A proper one, yeah... but this is most likely a rush job for show," Alenko muttered with a weariness of someone who had traveled this road many times. Anyone around long enough who paid any attention knew political games never really changed, they were just hidden behind empty gestures.

"Seems like you've been around for awhile, Lieutenant. You a career man?" Shepard studied the man's dark features intently for a moment as he gave one firm nod. She wasn't surprised; most biotics ended up in the Alliance. "Well, it's out of our hands for now. We just have to be ready when they call for us." Shepard had been down this road too many times in the past to hope for a good resolution right out of the gate. This was just going to be the jumping off point.

"Well, we aren't going to let this change our plans. Let's move out." She spun on her heel and pushed ahead at a fast clip without even looking back to make sure the others followed.

Shepard slowed as they neared their destination, allowing Williams and Alenko to finally catch up. They both followed her gaze to see where they were, since she never told them of their destination. Williams' dark, well manicured eyebrows rose incredulously as her eyes focused on the signage. She glanced over her shoulder at the Commander, her nose wrinkled as if she smelled something nasty.

"Really Commander, we have the whole Citadel at our feet and you choose to come here?" She shook her head as she continued speaking. "You and I have very different ideas of fun."

"Is that so, Chief?" Shepard couldn't keep the amusement from her voice. "Tell you what: next time we are here you get to pick the fun."

"Are you sure you want to agree to that Commander? You don't know what Chief Williams considers fun. She might be into some weird stuff." Both women turned to face Alenko, unsure how to take the remark. The slight twinkle in his eye gave him away and Shepard couldn't help but grin. She always enjoyed a good sense of humor.

"I'll just have to trust her then, won't I?" One corner of her mouth turned up slightly in a smirk as she decided to see if he could handle being on the receiving end. She leaned in slightly and dropped her voice seductively - well, as close as she could manage. "Besides, I may like it."

Williams busted up with laughter as Alenko gulped audibly, a deep blush creeping up his neck. The loud outburst drew strange looks from several people passing by, and a turian couple froze in their tracks to stare, which only made Williams laugh louder. All of this proved too much for Alenko, who walked away and sat on a bench.

It took several minutes for Williams to quell her laughter long enough to speak clearly. "It's a deal, Commander. And I'm going to hold you to that. But are you sure I can't talk you into something else right now?"

"Nah, I owe the Lieutenant a dance." Shepard hooked a thumb in Alenko's direction but he didn't notice. He was too busy studying his boots like they held the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything (which everyone should know is 42).

Ten minutes later Shepard and Alenko walked side-by-side through the halls of the Alliance training facility wearing Alliance sweatpants and shirts she had nicked from the locker room. The clothes were in better shape and more comfortable than the sets she had back on the ship, so she was seriously considering not returning them. Alenko was not as enamored with his outfit, though; he kept pulling the fabric away from his body while he made little sounds of discomfort deep in his throat. Admittedly, his pants and shirt were both a touch too tight, but _she_ wasn't complaining. She slowed just enough to for him to get a step ahead so she could enjoy the view.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you? I'm sure they had bigger sizes back there." Williams fell into step beside Shepard, her voice low and conspiratorial.

"Innocent until proven guilty, Chief. Why are you still in your armor?"

"I was hoping I could sit this one out, since I would be a third wheel and all..." Williams let statement hang in the air for a moment as she watched Shepard's reaction. Seconds later she hastily added "you know, since I'm not a biotic or anything. I promise not to leave this facility. I just want to drool over the weapons." She practically ran away as Shepard nodded.

The training room was specially designed for biotic training: the padded walls were reinforced to withstand explosions of dark energy and two stories tall to allow for flying bodies. It was rare that someone caught that much height in sparring matches, but not unheard of. A jagged crack in a mirrored window along the observation level was proof of that. Shepard padded barefoot across the spongy blue flooring and came to a halt at the far edge of the room, lowering herself into a cross-leg seated position. With closed eyes she took a deep breath, relishing the unique scent of industrial cleaners and hard-earned sweat. It was not an odor most people appreciated, but to her it smelled like home.

In a split second she was on her feet, eyes set on her target with determination; he flew across the room and hit the padded wall before her heart beat twice. He never had a chance. She was nothing but a blur with blue wisps.

"What the hell, Shepard?" Alenko yelled as he pulled himself off the floor.

"Always be ready, Lieutenant. This isn't a new lesson."

He looked up just as a biotic lift caught him and dangled him several feet in the air. His shirt fell up slightly as he hung, twisting, and revealed a small glimpse of tan skin pulled taut over his strong core. A small trail of dark hair tempted her eyes to follow it lower, but she fought it. Her mouth went dry as her eyes lingered, eventually gliding the opposite direction to find his _blue _eyes. Oh shit.

Shepard dropped into a defensive position instinctively before her mind was able to catch up. The biotic throw caught her dead center and sent her reeling backwards as her feet scrambled to keep under her, but she refused to fall. If he was going to knock her down he had to earn it. She frowned as she pulled herself fully upright, her eyes locked on his. The blue energy practically danced across his skin, a bright testament to his power, so there was no excuse for her still standing. She was distracted and he connected his attack, but he did little more than knock her off balance.

"Is that all you got, Alenko? Joker hits harder than you, and he breaks a leg if he farts too hard." There was a distinct snarl to her voice. She was doing her best to goad him into an emotional attack, to break through his block.

Alenko's jaw clenched and his cheeks flushed as he threw another attack her way. Shepard easily sidestepped the weak singularity and swiped it away with one dark energy coated hand.

"Maybe he's just more of a man than you are." She regretted the words the second they left her mouth as she saw his face cloud over. Shepard planted both feet, prepared for a hard hit.

The throw barely budged her.

Well, if he wasn't going to attack her, than he would have to bust his ass to stay in one piece. She tossed a throw his direction as a test. A small look of shock passed over his dark features as the first throw connected, but he kept his feet under him. She gritted her teeth and began throwing biotic attacks at him fast and furious, too fast for him to dodge; he had to use his biotics or get his ass kicked.

Their one-sided battle continued on until they were dripping with sweat, their bodies pushed to the edge from exertion but both too stubborn to give up. They circled one another like animals, eyes locked, when Alenko suddenly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Shepard's eyes dropped to the taut muscles rippling under his tan skin as he moved, the glistening sweat highlighting his physique. She fought to keep her chin off the floor when she noticed his grin. He distracted her on purpose. She braced herself just in time, as a throw caught her and made her stumble slightly. Two can play that game.

Shepard grabbed the seams of her shirt with both hands, and Alenko froze. She had him just where she wanted him. She lifted her shirt slowly at first, just barely exposing her tight abs, and watched his eyes grow larger. In one fell swoop she pulled the shirt over her head and threw it at him. He reached up to catch it with both hands and she hit him with a lift when he was least expecting it. She launched at him with a primal yell as he twisted mid-air; her shoulder connected with his stomach and sent them both flying towards the ground. Alenko landed flat on his back with enough force to knock the wind out of him, while Shepard rolled with the landing and ended on her feet. She flipped over and landed on his chest in the blink of an eye, her knees on his shoulders and hands pinning his arms over his head. He blinked several times in shock, his pupils so dilated his eyes appeared black. Neither moved for several moments, both panting from exertion, and possibly something more.

"I win." Shepard whispered, her lips just barely above his.

Cheers filled the room and Shepard jumped up in surprise. The windows along the second floor lost their mirror quality with the flip of a switch, revealing an astonishing crowd gathered along the observation deck . There, right smack dab in the middle, stood a very proud looking Williams collecting a small fortune. Among the general chaos Shepard was able to make out a few shouts of protests. Among them: the whole thing was rigged, nobody told them they were betting against _the_ Shepard, and the _real_ Shepard wasn't a biotic so it was all a fix. Williams wasn't putting up with it. She couldn't hear what Williams said, but everyone backed down immediately. Shepard chuckled as she shook her head in amazement.

"I should've known." She muttered as she stared down the Gunnery Chief from afar. Williams was definitely footing the bill the next time they went out. Shepard let her eyes take in the full scene in front of her. Every Alliance soldier on the Citadel appeared to be in attendance, including many top brass (who appeared to be doing an amazing job of ignoring all the money changing hands). She turned back to her sparring partner and shrugged.

Alenko had not moved from his position of defeat; he merely laid there taking in the sights, her shirt tucked under his head like a pillow. His eyes lingered on hers long enough that she began to fidget. It was amazing how she suddenly felt so exposed under his gaze when the eyes of an entire platoon didn't faze her. She used her biotics to pull her shirt out from under his head with a flick of her wrist, which broke his gaze long enough for her to cover up before she extended a hand and yanked him to his feet. A vibrant smile played on her full lips.

"Take a bow, Lieutenant. You earned it."


	15. Chapter 15

A young asari maiden came to a complete stop, confusion clear on her sapphire features as she scanned the nearly-empty tables of the cafe. Her back arched suddenly as the waitress behind her failed to stop before running into her, the intricate violet straps of what was supposed to be clothing straining dangerously to contain the ample curves of her body. She hissed something over her shoulder to the bewildered fellow asari behind her, who was desperately fighting to keep the contents of the overflowing bowls in their place, as she shot a quizzical glance at the volus behind the counter. One pudgy finger pointed impatiently to the table in the corner. The asari's eyes widened slightly in disbelief. She looked back to the volus, whose back was now to her before she shrugged and expertly wove a path to the small table, the other asari close behind.

Shepard watched the whole thing go down. It certainly wasn't the first or last time, and it never got old. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from snickering as the two asari finally reached the far side of the small cafe. She nodded her head slightly in acknowledgement of the two women as they came to a halt at her table.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't aware this order was to go. I will go get some boxes for you." The first asari waitress spoke hurriedly as they began unloading the contents of the trays on the cafe table, which groaned slightly from the strain.

"No need. We are going to eat here," Shepard answered, smiling sweetly. Both waitresses looked the three humans seated at the table, then looked at one another.

"Oh, will others be joining you?" Shepard merely shook her head politely. The first waitress looked at her as if she had three heads before she regained her composure. "Very well. Please let me know if we can do anything else for you." The two asari retreated back behind the counter where they tried their best to watch them without being obvious. They failed.

Shepard grinned at her crew. Alenko's eyes never veered from the food, but Williams chuckled as she shook her head.

"Are you really going to eat all this food, Commander?" Williams eyed the mountain of food suspiciously.

"Not all by myself," she answered simply.

"I can't believe you dragged us through such sketchy neighborhoods to eat at a place called The Noodle Castle." Williams prodded the bowl closest to her with a large serving spoon, and then sniffed the contents skeptically.

"You will just have to trust me on this. I know food."

Shepard's mouth watered as she looked over the large spread in front of them. Heaping bowls of noodles, stir-fry, sautéed vegetables and rice covered the table to the point that there was almost no room for their plates. The crude neon lights of the lower wards did little for the appearance of the food (it all had a distinctly grey coloring), but Shepard knew from experience that it had no equal. The only reason the place didn't have an insane wait was that it was located deep in the less-than-savory area of one of the wards. That kind of thing didn't concern her at all, though. Williams would understand once she quit being such a sissy and just ate.

"What are you guys waiting for, an invitation? Dig in!" Shepard tucked the damp strands of her red hair behind her ears before she started filling her plate. She was too hungry to bother with styling the mop after her quick shower, so she just raked her fingers through it and hit the cafe. That was why she went with a simple choppy short cut in the first place: no muss, no fuss. She let her eyes wander to the man currently stuffing his face on her right. The same could not be said of him. Every dark hair on Alenko's head was back in place as if it was afraid to disobey, showing no signs of the naturally curly mane that appeared as they sparred.

"What?" Alenko froze with a fork full of food halfway to his mouth, which was stuffed past capacity to begin with.

"I was just trying to figure out what you do to get your hair to do that. Especially as fast as you got ready."

"Trade secret. I'll never tell," he whispered conspiratorially.

"He just uses a ton of product. Ten creds says I can bounce my chopstick off his head without a single hair moving." Williams sighted down one chopstick, taking aim, as she spoke. Alenko's hands flew up to block the shot in a flash. Both women watched the reaction with shock, glanced at one another, and busted up laughing.

"Best not take that shot, Williams. I don't want to give the poor guy a complex. Plus, I'm really hungry. I don't want to get kicked out." Shepard illustrated her point by stuffing her mouth. Williams made a big show of lowering her utensil and using it as it was intended, rather than as a weapon, her eyes trained on Alenko the entire time.

Less than thirty minutes later, every dish sat empty on the table. Shepard and Alenko both leaned back in their chairs, momentarily unable to bend at the waist from having eaten more than a human body realistically should be able to hold. Shepard couldn't speak for her Lieutenant, but she was happily miserable. Williams shook her head in disbelief. She had certainly kept up with them for the first two rounds, but she didn't have a biotic metabolism on her side. The asari waitresses, who had long since given up trying to be discreet, approached them with mouths agape and asked permission to snap a few photos (most likely as proof to accompany their tale). Shepard, always thinking two steps ahead, agreed in exchange for a discount on future visits.

The team wandered the wards, taking in the sights and walking off the food, when Shepard's 'tool chirped at her. She quirked an eyebrow at Alenko as she activated it. She made a mental note to have him change that alert tone when he fixed the color. Commander Shepard was not a bright pink - chirpy kind of woman. She pushed that aside as she read the short note, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

"They're ready for us. Anderson said they are heading out now and we are to meet them in the Citadel Tower."

"Well, so much for a thorough investigation." Williams muttered.

The elevator ride to the Citadel Tower made the lift on the Normandy feel like a relay jump in comparison. The ride lasted so long the team ran out of small talk and resorted to clearing their throats and tapping their toes to fill the silence unbroken by the bland music being piped in.

The doors finally slid open, only to reveal a grand open area. Shepard froze as her eyes took it all in. She had never been to this part of the Citadel before, and was shocked to find the hub of galactic politics so tranquil. The lighting was expertly designed to create a sense of serenity and beauty while highlighting the exotic flora within. Beautiful, blossoming trees nestled along tops of the walls and within the mini-oases on each level, the highly fragrant blooms dropped pink petals that caught the light, but never collected on the floor. Upon closer inspection, large, decorative rocks were interspersed within the soft, delicate-looking flora. Strength and beauty mingled to create a powerful, yet understated image.

Something didn't feel quite right. She forced herself to look past the peaceful beauty and she began to see the manipulative effects at work. The giant room was comprised of multiple levels and a seemingly never-ending set of stairs, all of which made the new arrival feel small and insignificant. Each individual wishing an audience with the Council had to climb to reach that goal. All of the architectural elements, from the stairs to the curved walls, to the windows all created a focal point; this was, no doubt, where they would find the Council. They were the focus of the room, and it reminded all within that they were what kept the peace and beauty that surrounded them. Very manipulative, yet subtle.

As the team climbed the first set of stairs Shepard couldn't help but overhear a conversation. Hell, anyone within shouting distance could hear. She instinctively slowed to listen in. It wasn't that she was being nosy; she was taken aback by the fact that one of the turians was yelling at the other - who appeared to be his superior. The overt disrespect was uncharacteristic of turians in general and enough to warrant suspicion. Then she heard the name that made her freeze in place: Saren. The turian in the spiffy blue armor was begging for more time to complete his investigation. Clearly not everyone was content with sweeping this under the rug.

Several minutes later, Shepard led her team up the seemingly never-ending series of steps, frustration already settled deep in her gut. Based on everything she had just learned, from the little conversation as well as what Mr. Spiffy-Armor told her directly, the Council's investigation was little more than an empty gesture. The turian, Vakarian, if she remembered correctly, was given a nearly impossible time frame to work in and was hindered by red tape every step of the way. Everything Saren touched was completely classified and off the table for the investigator. None of this really surprised her; she had been around long enough to know how these things go... but it still bothered her. She honestly hoped the Council would be more concerned with truth than saving face. Now it was time to find out for sure.

Anderson met the team at the base of the topmost set of stairs, his foot tapping impatiently until they came into view. There was a noticeable tightness around his eyes as he greeted them with a rough nod. Shepard wrote it off as the natural outcome of spending any time with Udina. Something about that man just made her ass itch.

"Come on. They're waiting for you." Anderson turned on his heel with military precision without waiting for a response. He ascended the stairs at a brisk pace, shoulders back and head held high. Every motion felt calculated and strictly professional, as if every move was being scrutinized. Shepard followed his lead, pulling her Commander mask firmly into place.

Udina's shrill voice assaulted her ears as they drew nearer. Shepard didn't trust the man as far as she could throw a shuttle at him, but he was good at his job. He had clearly mastered the universal double-speak of politicians. The Council came more into view with each step, and she studied their faces intently as she drew nearer, trying to determine any effect Udina had. Even as practiced as Shepard was, the last step on the stair was hesitant and her mask slipped, ever so briefly, as her eyes fell on the last Councilor. She regained control almost immediately, but it was noticeable enough that Alenko gripped her elbow slightly. She wasn't sure, but it appeared the Councilor noticed as well.

"You alright Commander?" Alenko whispered from close behind her, his breath hot on her neck, sending an involuntary chill down her spine.

She didn't answer aside from a nearly imperceptible nod, which was good enough for him. He let his hand drop and held back a step as she steeled her spine and moved forward with a self-assuredness that was well practiced, but not felt. She was not prepared for _this_ little surprise.

"...there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way." The asari Councilor spoke firmly, but there was a hint of kindness to her voice. It reminded Shepard of being spoken down to by well-meaning adults when she was a child.

"The investigation turned up no evidence to support your claim." The tone of the turian Councilor's voice made it clear he was ready to wipe his hands of the entire situation.

"We have audio of Nihlus identifying his attacker!" The team slid quietly into place behind Udina as he argued. Shepard hoped to slip in unnoticed, but she was unsuccessful.

"Ah, Shepard... Commander now, is it? It _has_ been awhile." Sparatus kept his features neutral as he singled Shepard out, but she caught the subtle mention of her rank. It was his way of putting her in her place. "I should've guessed you were the Shepard involved."

Udina, the man of a thousand opinions and the will to share them all, snapped his mouth shut in shock. Shepard noticed Anderson's muscles in his jaw tense as he realized what was happening, and she could feel the gaze of her teammates bore into the back of her head. This was not going to go well. Shit.


End file.
